A clean car equals a BFP?

Has a nice ring to it, no? I wonder what kind of goo.gle searches I'll get from that title...and what a positive title for my first post of 2008! Every little bit can help...

Winter temperatures have had a tight grip on those of us below the Mas.on-Dix.on line...and squeezed us a little too hard last week and we lost power for about 24 hours. Now folks like us don't like to be too cold, ya'll. So when the temps dip, the thermostat goes UP-and apparently the power supply couldn't quite handle all our cold footsies. Our home-sweet-home got so cold the morning of sans-power/heat, that I got to take my fur-baby to work with me--what an adventure! But she loved it--and she was SO good. What a well behaved child I have! I was lucky that my place of employment was understanding and gracious. We did not get power back until the wee hours of the next morning, so Mook and I dragged out the sleeping bags and blankets and cuddled up next to our gas fire place-thank goodness for that! I think God has a way of knowing when people need a reminder to re-connect and get back to basics--and that's just what this night did for us: no TV, computer, or other distractions. We played games, laughed and cuddled...and made the best out of our frigid night!

However, those frigid temps made a quick exit just in time for the weekend! That led me to drag out the bucket, sponges and cleaners--my car has not had a thorough cleaning since July. Now before you make an "ewwww" face-I have been a good environmentalist and obeyed our water-restrictions since August. Our state has been in severe drought, and I didn't think that washing my car was a high priority when we werent sure we'd have fresh water coming out of our taps. So with the recent lift on the restrictions and warm temps, I knew that this was the perfect time to take care of Ox (her name is after Babe the Bl.ue Ox)

But in July when Ox got "the works" was the week before our embryo transfer--funny how I even remember that...but I do. I remember driving the hour back from the clinic, lying flat in the back seat looking out the window to a cloudless sky--feeling so hopeful. And I remember the smell of my clean car. I remember thinking about putting car seats into the backseat where I was lying-how so much would be different come April. I remember looking so fondly to the front seat where Mook was driving-he was being so careful so that he wouldn't hit any bumps to upset Pearl and Jam. I remember the clean floor mats-they still had "vacuum lines" on them...

So on Sunday, there I was 6 months later...sitting in my front seat with tears streaming down my face because the smell of car-cleaners brought back a flood of memories....and here we are about to go through another transfer. My mind was all over the place: what if I wash the windows different this time? What if I vacuum only the front seat? What if, what if, what if....?
Then a song came on the radio as I sat in my daze..."Stron.ger" by Kanye W.est--and it was an instant jolt of adrenaline: I kept repeating the lyrics over and over again: "That, that don't kill me, can only make me stronger." (the hip-hop lover in me coming out!)

I finished cleaning my car with a smile on my face--I may not be able to change the course of our FET outcome with a clean car, but it sure does feel good to have cleansed not just my "ride" but my mental state!




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More soon on results of my appt. this coming Thurs, and Mook's and my steps towards healthier couch-time.