December 9, 1993: U.S. astronauts completed repair work on the Hubble Space Telescope.I am working on contacting those same astronauts to come repair ME.
I'm getting ready to throw a pity party, so fair warning. I will get over it and move on, but for right now, I feel like I just lost a fight with Evander Holyfield...and I didn't even get a chance to bite off his ear. (who I've actually met, and he's not that big of a guy!) Anyway...
This day will go down in history as a particularly glum day in Jeans land. Let me just say, I did go in with high spirits and was really doing a good job at being positive. That slowly got chipped away as I got my: blood results, urine/swab results, and ultrasound results.
First, I have a lovely yeast infection. Splendid. The big kicker is, he doesn't want me to treat it right now. He says its not bad enough, and he wants me to forgo the meds right now since there is too much going on in that region and to call if I start to feel bad.
What I've truly known in my gut for a while now: still have complete previa. Less than a .5% chance it will move at all from here on out. It's a nice thick, healthy placenta that little Ron is thriving off of, but it's definitely in the way. I've had a lot of time to come to grips with this, and I am not stressing about the fact that I will have to have a c-section (more on this in a later post). My fears are coming from the unknown. While my cervix remains long and closed, I could start bleeding at any time. He wants to get me to 37 weeks, but obviously if I notice any spotting, it's straight to the hospital. So Mook and I have to go ahead and start planning--which we did at lunch after the appt--and get people on board to help us, get my hospital bag packed, and all those fun things. I will go weekly from here on out, so I am very grateful that they are monitoring me so close. I will continue to work as long as I can (unless I am put back on bed rest) since I am only 2 minutes from the hospital while at work, and 20 minutes when I am at home.
Big fat fail on the glucose test. It needs to be under 140, and I scored a 148. So I get to go back tomorrow for the 3 hour test. I'm reaaaaaly hoping that my body cooperates and I pass tomorrow. Good news is there is wireless at my doctor's office, and they said I can bring in my lap top. I'll be able to post the results of my 3 hour test in real time--whoohoo. (please let it be normal...)
Probably the worst news for me, is that I cannot go home for Christmas. As soon as he said, "no more travelling" my bottom lip started to quiver. When he left the room, I just broke down...that was the final blow. I know Mook and I will have a great little Christmas together, I just love being with my family at Christmastime--all of our fun traditions. Anyone want to come over for Christmas? :0)
But I have saved the best for last. Our precious little Ron--as soon as the tech was sure the previa was still there, I was anxious for her to get that wand moving so we could see him--it's been 10 weeks! And he's definitely growing! His sweet little nose and lips are so defined on the 3-D image. We were also able to get another reassurance that it is in fact a Ron--Mook was a bit nervous that "things" might be missing! I've posted the newest glamor shot if you wish to see his cute little face.
I continue to be so thankful that everything is OK with him. It's just as my doctor said: "What are you doing causing all these problems?!" He was quick to make sure I knew he was joking, and that there is nothing I am or am not doing to make these things happen. It' s good to hear that, but today I just feel so responsible. I just want to do everything I can to make sure Ron makes it here safe and sound. I whispered to Ron as we left the doctor's that although I loooove those milkshakes, that I will make a big cut-back...and, oh: those extra bites of key lime pie are done too...
We have our 4th baby/child class tonight, and we get a tour of the hospital and the facilities-looking forward to seeing some of the men up in the stirrups! Hoping that by seeing where everything will take place, and where I will go will help ease my mind. Overall, and of course outweighing my pity party, is the blessing of modern medicine. I'll continue to focus on the good and just pray that everything will work out. Thanks for all your thoughts today!
I wish you could have gotten lots of good news today! But at least you got to see Ron again on the ultrasound and are sure that it is a "Ron!"
ReplyDeleteMaybe tonight you'll get some comic relief at class with seeing the fellas in stirrups!
Sending you hugs and prayers!
Oh, JJ, I'm sorry! I've been waiting all day to hear how things went and I was so hopeful that things would have moved.
ReplyDeleteI'll continue to hold out hope that the 3 hour goes well. My best friend got GD during her pregnancies and she complained about how hard it was, but still went to McD's EVERYDAY for a hot fudge sundae! I know you are far more disciplined when it comes to dr's requests. It won't be a "cake walk," but you will do fine.
If I was closer I would come visit you on Christmas!
I'm sorry you aren't having the best day and send you lots of hugs!
Ugh... sorry to hear of these downers. It can be so disheartening to get all this news at once.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Will be thinking of you.
JJ,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry things are not going so well. You are right to focus on the positives, but its okay to be upset with these things too.
The good news is that you are being monitored and the things that are worrisome are not soo worrisome--hey, he's thriving in there, girl!
If you need any advice on C-Sections, let me know--I've had 2!
As for being away from home for X-Mas--I totally understand that. We live 800 miles away from our families. At first, when we were just a couple, we would fly home every holiday season. But, one year, it just wasn't going to happen. And we were okay. It was different, it was hard. But we made up our own traditions (I was pregnant with Michael). I decorated a stocking for him with fabric pen, and we did our own things to make it better. And now, we have our own traditions. Remember, where ever you and Mook (and Ron) are--that is home. :-)
Please take care! Sending you hugs!
good news is -- Ron is doing great!!! Awesome glamour shot by the way!
ReplyDeleteSorry for the yucky news today! :( I know it's a lot to swallow all at once, but I also know that you'll get your plan in place and that all will eventually work out. You'll absolutely be in my prayers. Good luck with the GTT tomorrow!
ReplyDeletePoor JJ! What will you do without milkshakes???
ReplyDeleteI am tearing up for you. H and I spent last Christmas here, and even though we did it by choice (just so we could finally have a year where we didn't travel through the holidays), I ended up being so sad to not be with my family. I completely, 100% feel for you. If I wasn't driving a million-billion miles away this year, I would be at your house with a Santa hat on and mugs of steamy cider and all the trappings for an amazing holiday. You and Mook will have a lovely time, I just know it. And during the holiday, you will know that you're staying home, only so that you safely bring home the happiest, healthiest, cuddliest Christmas present ever.
Best of luck with your GD test. And though I know it doesn't always help, a dear friend of mine had complete placenta previa last spring with her first pregnancy, and though she delivered a little bit early, Nathan (her son), was no worse off for it. I know that the issues that come along with it can be scary (and well, frankly a pain in the you-know-what), but I just want to reassure you, even just a little bit, that I know someone personally who has dealt with this and who came out the other side with both herself and her son in perfect health. And I have no doubt that it will be the same for you and Ron.
Sugar-free milkshakes, maybe?
I know that most of that sucks but you are right, Ron is doing ok and that is really what matters more than anything at this point. I know it sounds ridiculous of me to say this, but everything happens for a reason and this is the way it is for you for SOME perfectly good reason. I will keep you guys in my prayers! That little face is extremely precious!! Oh my goodness, I am so jealous of the 3D.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
I'm sorry you got this trifecta of crappy news today. Any chance your fam could come to you this holiday???
ReplyDeleteGood luck tomorrow with the 3 hour, I'll be thinking of you
Oh honey, I am so so sorry.
ReplyDeleteAs for the gestational diabetes, I had it. It wasnt fun, but its easily do able. Not that it helps, cause I know it doesnt. But I'm here for ya.
Big hugs!
Sorry you got the big fail on the goo test, but on the bright side, they do have quite a few cases of false positives. Remind me of this if I fail as well. I will check back tomorrow for up to date results as you try desperately to entertain yourself for 3 hours in a doctor's office waiting room. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteAs for cooking your bun as long as you can, I can relate as well. 37 weeks seems to far away doesn't it. Just think positively and know that modern medicine has come a long way just in case your little one decides he wants to meet you a bit sooner than planned. :)
If you were close by, you would be so welcome here! We could eat and watch tv and act goofy and eat some more. Hang in there chickadee...
ReplyDeleteOh JJ, I understand how you feel so well. So freaking well. While thankfully Amelia continues to thrive, the amount of problems I'm stacking up right now would be laughable if I weren't in the thick of it.
ReplyDeleteI feel like a traveling freak show. The only way I get by is to remind myself that the end is in sight. And that I will do anything, ANYTHING to ensure a healthy baby. Even if it means sacrificing my own discomfort and happiness for awhile.
Drop me a line if you want to discuss it further with me. We can whine together and laugh at each other. Maybe it'll be cathartic.
sorry about all the bad news, but Ron sure is cute!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you didn't get better news, but glad that Ron is checking out ok! He looks like he's getting fat and healthy in his picture!!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you guys.
Hang in there, you're doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteI threw myself a pity party, too after my 1 hr glucose test. I also scored slightly higher than what was allowed--hey, stop copying me!
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, DO copy me. At least for the 3 hr test. For that my OB only required I pass 3 out of the 4 blood draws which is what happened.
I'm sorry to hear your previa is still complete. But, it sounds like your doctor is great and you (and Ron) will be well looked after.
Hang in there, JJ!
Sorry the placenta is not cooperating, and that you will not be able to go home for Christmas. Happy to hear that Ron is doing well. Keeping everything crossed that the 3 hour test goes well.
ReplyDeleteSending good thoughts and big HUGS!
I wish things could be easier for you my friend. I am so glad to Ron is okay. I hope you pass the 3 hour glucose test and that Ron can stay inside until 37 weeks. take it easy okay??? Sorry that you can't go home for Christmas, I feel your pain. I haven't been able to go home for 8 years now. It sucks!!!!! Take care!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHUGS
Oh JJ, I'm sorry the news isn't better. I'm really glad Ron's doing well, though, and that you're being monitored closely.
ReplyDeleteI love that your pity party came with a warning and that you yourself know that you'll get over it ;)
ReplyDeletewishing you better news next time and good luck for the glucose tomorrow.
cool that you got to see your son so defined in the u/s.
I hope you don't need to use your hospital bag before it's really time. :)
Aw, JJ. Just want to send some hugs your way. I don't have much advice otherwise, except for "go with the flow". Glad though to hear that Ron is doing well! I'm pulling for ya!
ReplyDeleteUgh, my friend, I just don't even know what to say. Gawd, could it ever just be smooth sailing? Really? Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the bad news today. I hope that you pass the 3 hour test.
ReplyDeleteOh how I'd love to see some men in stirrups (clothed of course...that angle otherwise...ewe)!
Oh JJ, so many hurdles! But I know you will sail over them cleanly.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about the holiday. As we have moved to the left coast, I can't afford to fly me and the wee ones to the east for the celebrations. This will only be the 3nd year of my life I've been away from my family. It isn't easy and you have every right to pout a bit.
Thinking of you!
I had partial previa that bled. First and second times were very scary. The first I didn't know what was happening (it wasn't diagnosed until the bleed), and the second time was also pretty scary, though I knew the drill then. They let me go home because mine was partial. My practice keeps you in the hospital if you have a bleed with a full previa. I don't know what your practice's rules are, but I gather mine's are pretty common. My first bleed was at 31 weeks, though I understand that it commonly happens starting at 28. Maybe, though, since you know you have it, taking it somewhat easy can help avoid a bleeding episode.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are having such a rough time. For what it's worth, I eventually found that I felt better in the hospital-- being close to the equipment and the doctors has its advantages, you know?
Oh JJ! When he told you that you couldn't go home for Christmas, I teared up for you. That's just a morale-buster. Do you live anywhere near NJ? You're invited to spend Christmas with my family and my crazy in-laws if you like. (Meet the whole cast of characters! Spend the day marveling at the real-life drama!)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Ron is well and growing away in there. I'm holding out hope that the 3 hour glucose test is gentle to you and that you get good results. I'm sending you hugs and lots of love, my friend. Hang in there, hon. You are doing a great job!
xo
Flicka
Can I share in your misery by showing you mine?
ReplyDelete~ yeast infection - Check. last week.
~ Placental issue - Check. Although mine isn't previa, it's caused from my velamentous cord insertion and I have a high risk of stillbirth and placental rupture. I've had a weekly u/s since 24 weeks. U/S #20 is tomorrow. AND another issue is growth restriction. If he loses another 10%, I'm going to be scheduled for a c-sect pronto. I'm only 34 weeks, but he'll want to take him at 35 or 37 - whichever is safest.
~ Glucose test failed? - Check. Although I passed my 3 hour
~ I can't travel for xmas either due to the placental issues. Although for me, I'm happy about this one.
Does it make you feel any better that we share in shittiness? ~hugs~ Complain all you want sister. I do too.
what a huge letdown. I am so sorry for this awful dr's appointment! I wishit would have turned out better for you. But Way keep your chin up! Ron is just so cute in his new lil glamour shot. Hoping good things for tomorrows test
ReplyDeleterough day! I'm sorry to hear the previa is still there...I was really hoping it would have moved! And bummer on the glucose test- my fingers are crossed that you pass the 3 hour with flying colors! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDamn. So sorry about the failed glucose test, the still present previa and all the other stuff going on. I hope things continue to move along at a mostly normal pace and that you've still got several more weeks. Sorry also about not going home for Christmas. I know what you mean about how sad that is.
ReplyDeleteOh no! I'm sorry you had such a bad day. I'm glad that Ron is doing good though... that is the best news! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteUGH. I am so sorry JJ. I'll be thinking of you with your 3 hour test and praying that your body cooperates. And Ron is JUST TO CUTE ALREADY!!! ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI failed the 1 hour and passed the 3 and know of 4 others that had the same thing happen. I am hoping that will be the case for you hun.
ReplyDeleteMuch love.
Wow...that's a LOT to be dealing with. But, as you say, thank goodness everything is okay with Ron. I know you know this, but that's what matters. To be sure, I'll never understand why those of us who have gone through IF seem to have all of the complications of pregnancy. But, as long as he stays safe and sound--thriving off that fabulous placenta--and arrives healthy and happy, all of this will seem like a blip.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'll be thinking of you and looking forward with you to the day when this will be a blip.
I hope, though, that your 3 hour screening goes well--you definitely deserve that!
And I'm very sorry about Christmas. I can imagine how hard that must be. Hang in there, sweetie! We'll all be thinking of you and checking in on you. :-)
(btw, apparently I also had a ridiculously huge placenta. The doctors who did my c-section KEPT talking about it long after the surgery. It was pretty funny...)
I failed my first GTT and then passed the 3 hr one. It's fairly common to do so.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have no bleeding....A c-section really isn't too bad. Just stock up on granny panties, because you won't want to wear bikinis when the incision is fresh. Also, if you have a 2 story house, have a bassinet or pack n play on the first level, because you won't be able to take the stairs all day either.
The picture is beautiful! Even blurry, I can see what a gorgeous little boy he is.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about all the crappy news, but at least he's still safe and snug in there. You didn't fail the glucose test by much, so you very well might pass the 3 hour one. That's what's happened to me each time.
You want company for Christmas? You got it! Of course I come with a whirling dervish of a 4 year old and a very happy yet no-sleeping 7 month old. You might not want that after all... :-)
Hey, JJ -- I've been lurking throughout your pregnancy -- I remember your first comment on my blog, when I was pregnant: that you were TTC with MFI and hoped that our journeys would both have a happy ending (something to that effect). Well, I am sorry that both of our pregnancies were not the blissfully happy but uneventful experiences that we both imagined! (Me: abnormal pap for the first time in my life and two colposcopies; gestational diabetes, in spite of eating a near-model pregnancy diet; partial placenta previa - fortunately, that resolved; delivering three weeks early and dealing with resultant preemie-ish jaundice and breastfeeding issues.) But, I made it through, and it was all worth it in the end. And I just tried to remind myself to be thankful that it wasn't anything more serious, even though I was incredibly bitter that it wasn't any fun getting pregnant, and with all the worry, it wasn't any fun for me being pregnant, either. (And then it was really hard once the baby was born; but that's another story. Lest I be too gloom and doom, let me assure you that things are great now!)
ReplyDeleteI am hoping that with such a borderline # on the 1-hour test that you will ace the 3-hour tomorrow. If that is not the case, do not freak out. GD can be very easy to control (mine was, anyway, just minor diet modifications and a walk after every meal to keep the blood sugar in check) and the whole point is to catch it early before complications arise.
This is much longer than I intended - sorry to hijack comments! - but I just want to say hang in there. And it's all gonna be so worth it (which I know you know).
JJ, I wish I had something more than virtual hugs to help with this news! I'm glad that Ron is growing well and is healthy. I just wish he was growing well, healthy, AND the placenta had moved. And the glucose test was fine. And you could go home for Christmas. I'm sorry sweetie. That's a lot to take on in one day.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry. I feel your pain about the holidays. We'll be spending it solo as well, though we've known it would be that way for a while. As for the GTT, I'm hopeful your 3 hour will be fine, 148 is just barely over the cut-off. I hope you can continue at least a few milkshakes. I'll be checking in.
ReplyDeleteOh man. That is the trifecta of suckiness. I am going the three hour test goes quickly and without any bad results
ReplyDeleteJJ, I know it was not all what you wanted to hear, but everything for a reason right?
ReplyDeleteHope the 3 hour test goes well and that you pass it with flying colours!
Thinking of you.
xxx
I wish that things could have gone better at your appt *hugs* Hopefully the 3 hour goes smoothly and you're cleared from that.
ReplyDeleteAs always, all 3 of you are in my prayers.
Sorry that you're appointment didn't give you the good news you wanted, but am glad to read that "Ron" is doing well and I'll keep my fingers crossed about the glucose.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear and see that Ron is doing well in there. Thinking about you guys this Christmas. Perhaps it's time to start a new tradition to honor all that is super fabulous about little Ron?
ReplyDeleteoof! So sorry for the news at your appt. I am sending lots of love to you and your boys (!!).
ReplyDeleteAnd the new glamor shot?? ADORABLE!!
I'm keeping my fingers crossed you'll pass the 3 hour test. It sounds like Ron is doing great, and that's all that really matters. I'm so sorry you have to miss Christmas with your family this year, but think of how much fun you'll have celebrating with them and Ron next year!
ReplyDeleteGood that Ron is ok, but I'm sorry about all the other stuff.
ReplyDeleteSorry it wasn't better news, JJ. Of course it's wonderful that Ron is doing well, but it's still hard to be facing all that you're facing.
ReplyDeleteI will be keeping you in my prayers and thoughts, especially over Christmas. I know it's hard to be away from family during the holidays.
I'm so sorry that you got a bunch of not-so-great news yesterday, but I am thrilled that Ron looks great. I wish you were able to go home for Christmas and know that must devastate you.
ReplyDeletesorry about all of the bad news, chickadee. i got freaked out by bad news in the end of my pregnancy too. and i worked out.
ReplyDeletefor a lot of reasons, i reallllllllyyyy did not want a c-section. and that's exactly what i ended up needing. you know there are a lot of things i wish i had known about having one-you know i am going to post about that very soon.
most importanly, this is all going to work out, however you get there, in a lovely little cozy baby that you've been dreaming about for years.
and let me tell you it.is.the.greatest.thing.ever.
and i say this after being up since two a.m. this morning with my cute little one.
I had a cesarean for my first.
ReplyDeleteMake sure they give you a low transverse incision and double stitch it. They should also separate your abdominal muscles instead of cutting through them.
You will heal faster and if you have another child, you will be able to have a vaginal birth. Even if you don't want a vaginal birth, the double stitching is stronger. Don't let doctors tell you it doesn't matter. Single stitching will disqualify you from VBAC in many places. So do double stitching and keep your options open.