Inhale a big breath...and.....GO:I-miss-this-space-so-much-and-I-know-by-not-writing-I-upset-people-and-if-I-write-about-something-other-than-infertility-I-am-abandoning-my-blogging-roots-and-I-hate-when-people-who-blog-just-stop-writing-and-now-I-am-becoming-one-of-those-bloggers-and-when-will-I-learn-that-I-can't-please-everyone-and-I-need-to-write-for-myself-because-that's-why-I-started-blogging-but-I-love-my-community-of-sisters-and-I-dont-want-to-loose-friendships-and-what-if-I-dont-ever-have-any-other-infertility-paths-to-walk-what-if-that-part-of-my-journey-is-over-but-I-have-so-many-other-things-about-my-life-that-I-can-share-and-connect-in-new-ways-with-the-knowledge-that-I-have-a-permanent-IF-tattoo-on-my-heart-and-I-won't-ever-ever-ever-forget-how-lucky-I-am-to-be-in-the-position-to-blog-about-my-life-as-a-mother-but-yet-I-dont-consider-myself-a-mommy-blogger-and-I-wish-there-was-a-way-I-could-go-to-a-mommy-and-me-group-in-my-town-and-not-want-to-gag-every-time-I-leave-because-they-complain-about-how-fast-they-got-pregnant-after-going-off-the-pill-and-will-I-ever-go-back-on-the-pill-because-my-cramps-are-really-bad-and-I-have-my-period-right-now-and-I-stilllll-hold-out-that-hope-that-I-will-see-two-lines-instead-of-doing-the-TP-Tango-and-I-should-take-up-the-Tango-because-I-just-gave-away-half-the-contents-of-my-closet-because-Im-tired-of-wondering-when-I-will-fit-back-into-the-shirt-Ive-had-since-high-school-and-I-am-gaining-confidence-that-I-really-could-write-a-post-on-just-the-emotions-alone-that-I-went-through-tonight-as-I-packed-away-the-Oman's-six-month-outfits-because-I-stand-in-the-door-frame-with-empty-hangers-and-I-just-want-to-bawl-because-this-is-all-going-by-too-fast-and-what-if-I-forget-that-he-stopped-crying-tonight-when-he-saw-me-and-I-feel-like-he-really-saw-me-and-then-he-started-babbling-ma-ma-ma-and-even-though-he-doesnt-know-that-hes-doing-it-he-melts-my-heart-and-this-is-why-I-should-write-for-myself-and-understand-that-life-does-change-even-though-I-fear-change-I-need-to-embrace-it-and-remember-that-each-new-step-brings-adventures-so-when-you-come-to-this-blog-you-will-see-my-precious-miracle-son-and-you-will-also-read-about-how-one-new-couch-has-made-me-rearrange-my-entire-house-and-you-will-know-that-I-think-about-some-really-random-stuff-but-maybe-you-do-too-so-we-will-reconnect-all-over-again-and-now-I-will-go-to-bed-feeling-at-peace-that-I-remembered-I-have-a-true-home-in-this-space-and-I-am-smart-to-listen-to-my-gut.
Breathe. :0)
I didn't follow you because you were an IF blogger, but because you reached out to me with your writing.
ReplyDeleteI am not an IF, not a mom, but darn it- I want to see pics of your darling baby! Pretty please.
I am not a stalker. I just like babies and stories with good endings.
I bet it took a long time to type all those hyphens!
ReplyDeleteYou really can't go wrong when your gut speaketh and you harketh.
XO
You thought all of that in one breath didn't you! Maybe I need a bigger bottle of wine for your visit. :)
ReplyDeleteBlog about whatever is going on in your life in the moment. You are good at it. Even if it does come out in one breath. That is how you started the blog and even if things have changed, you are still living your life and still experiencing emotions. You might be surprised at how helpful recording some of what you are going through can be for one of your readers.
:)
Write what you know, write what you feel, write what feels right. Some people might go away but other people might come. Just be true to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat is a mommy Blogger? Blog about life. Your Experiences and whatever you want to blog about. Pleasing everyone is impossible and a weight that you should not bare. As for going to a mommie and me class and not wanted to gag, I am on a different path than you right now, and I still want to gag and usually just remain quiet until the discussion moves to something I am comfortable with - IE TV shows, Fashion, Gossip Mags, Latest Meal Cooking ..ETC. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteMy word verification is Rehero! You are my Rehero (whatever that means)
YAY for listening to your gut! I did that recently and I'm SO glad I did! Blog about what comes into your head and through your fingers.
ReplyDelete*HUGS*
...here reading whatever you happen to write...
ReplyDeleteJust write what you want when you can.
ReplyDeleteIt does get hard sometimes to write after the thing you were writing for/about isn't your focus. We follow you for who you are-not just because you struggled to get pregnant. I'm glad you posted!
ReplyDeleteWe follow you because you write so well about what is going on with your life, whether its infertility, your latest adventure at being a mom or whatever. Thanks for posting and being a good friend!
ReplyDeleteI still feel like an outsider in mom groups--its more because I define myself outside of being a mom, and I find most of those groups just define themselves by their offspring. I find more closeness in the IF community, and in real life--the gaming community. I love going to gaming conventions and being with Geek Moms, who know how to change diapers and slay dragons too. :-)
So glad you followed your gut. You need to be true to yourself and what you are experiencing.
ReplyDeleteGlad you can breathe again!
xoxo
Yes; follow your gut and write about whatever you want!
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's ok to write about life things after infertility. I conceived all three of my children through IVF and now I write about my family and anything else that comes to mind. I read your blog because we like the way you write and I'm very happy that you can write about other things now.
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Gut. I get it, and totally relate. Keep coming back. It's totally reasonable that YOUR blog follow YOUR seasons of life and that you write for you. Your bloggy friends will continue to follow.
ReplyDeleteI keep telling myself that my life has changed so should my blog - it is my space after all.
ReplyDeleteThis blog is YOURS. It should change as your journey changes, as you change.
I always look forward to your posts, whatever the subject. Hope to read more from you in the future - I've missed you!
ReplyDeleteI like hearing about the seemingly mundane, every day things as much as the big big things. The every day things help me connect to you now as a mom. I so hear you though... I don't feel like I fit in either.
ReplyDeletep.s. it is going WAY too fast.
Ah, the eternal struggle of the post-birth infertile blogger... I think Mel says it best when she points out that becoming a parent only cures childlessness. As you acknowledge, you are forever marked with your infertility experience. But yet, your story now is more marked (at least outwardly) with your new role as parent.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to negotiate a change in format. Weirdly, I am dealing with that myself. I spent so long in the early phase of "something's wrong but who knows what" and avoiding diagnosis and generally stalling that it feels weird to have found myself in the midst of my first IVF. I really miss just writing about all the random stuff from my life, suddenly writing about the minutia of drugs and doses and side effects. And I know that I've lost a few readers because of that, because I think I used to be a safe place for people who didn't want to read about someone else's successes (if that makes sense-- it's like I knew I had several readers who enjoyed reading me because they knew that no matter their failures or successes, they'd always be better off than me, since I wasn't moving anywhere. But not in a bad way. I was just a comfortable place where they could read and be understood as an infertile person without having to read about specifics. I think...)
Anyhow, I don't know that there's any need to be an infertile/mommy/ivf/male factor/'insert-chosen-category-here' blogger. I think you've built up a readership who follows your writing because they've grown to care about your life, NOT about what role you espouse in your writing. Anyone who follows your story knows what a struggle it was for you to find yourself as a parent, so I don't think any among your readership will begrudge you that role. (I know I certainly don't!).
So post baby pictures, and tell us all about life from the other side of the IF continuum. I know that you have been an incredible source of support and knowledge for me, and that no matter how you decide to precede as a blogger, I will be right here reading along with you.
I will read whatever you decide to write because you capture my attention and hold on to it... I hope you will just write whatever comes into your head (or gut)!
ReplyDeleteLady, you can write whatever you want whenever you want. Your audience will change, but if you're really writing for you, then that won't matter.
ReplyDeleteBut if it does matter, and it makes you worry, well my change over to a pregnancy blog that has pretty much zip to do with infertility anymore actually got me lots of new people following and reading, and opened me up to lots of new blogs too. I couldn't force myself to write about infertility when I was no longer in the throes of it, and some loyal IF friends have stuck around, and some others have had to move on. But my blog still feels like my space, and that's more therapeutic than anything.
And I for one will be here reading whatever you put in this space. Cos I *heart* you for you not for your IF history.
ReplyDeleteHUGS
xxx
Dude. Just write. Screw expectations. It is for you. And we like you. You.
ReplyDeleteYour blog, your life. :) I'll read no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI just like that you write, you'll always be the same to me. I feel those things too, we got to the other side, doesn't mean we don't remember how it feels.
ReplyDeleteWhat you want to write about it ok by me...just write.
Hugs
I'm with the gut. Everyone has their path to follow and even though there are many who are on similar paths we may change paths later or take a different route. Yes you dealt with infertility but you are now a mom and talking about your baby is a given. You're right that you can't please everyone and it's really tiring trying. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, JJ. And I can SO totally relate. It is hard to realize that I am changing and so my blog will change, too. Scary.
ReplyDeleteKnow that I will keep reading and listening no matter what you are writing about and no matter what twists and turns lie ahead for you. Big hugs to you, and a pat on the back for listening to your gut. (I love that illustration, too!)
And like Lori, I am mighty impressed with all those hyphens!
I've got a few old friends and we always tell each other "I love your guts" as in right down to our core. I love your guts. We could have shared that one deep breathe together. I've been feeling the same thing.
ReplyDeleteJust write what you feel - your gut! I am here listing/reading no matter what!
ReplyDeleteJJ-I agree with "Fertilized" write about your life, which includes anything that makes you excited. The O man, music, books, movies. I write to unburden my soul, to clear my head and now to connect with my bloggidy friends. I look forward to reading about what is going on with the families of post-infertiles. I'm loving Rotten's posts and the pics of her gorgeous baby. I learn so much from Mel about how to be a better and more thoughtful mom when she talks about the twins. It is something that we can look forward to, something we can learn from and on "hard infertile days" something we can choose to skip. Thank you for your braces bunch card, it really cheered me up.
ReplyDeleteBig puffy hearts and hugs. -Traci
Write what you feel. Be authentic to yourself. You WILL piss people off. You WILL hurt people. They WILL unsubscribe.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay. It's all okay. You cannot please everyone. Trust me on this one.
I love you and you'll meet new people.
*hugs and love*
ReplyDeleteoh for eff's sake! You are SUCH a talented writer and story teller and we all miss out when you stop yourself from posting. Seriously.
ReplyDelete(but of course I went through a similar anxiety filled blog moment and just had to tell myself that I am more than the journey of infertility)
WRITE MORE!! (& share more photos!!!)
I miss your amazing way with words. You are a brilliant writer, use your skill.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my all-time favorite posts I've ever read in the entire "blogosphere." Wow. You really captured it.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely figuring this all out myself, too. So whatever you choose to share in this space, I look forward to enjoying it!
And...gasp! I am impressed with the amount of hyphens--you can never have too many hyphens. But you also know that I'm glad you're back.
ReplyDeleteyou do have a home and we will read whatever you write. :) we love you for you and wherever you are at the moment, not just what got you here.
ReplyDeleteand yes, I think about a lot of random things. :)
Your words always touch me, regardless of the topic. I love hearing from you!
ReplyDeleteAnd, I think you've inspired me to put together an overdue post. I promise not to copy the hyphens :)
HOLY CRAP. I think I read that all in one breath! Ditto on the feeling out of place in a Mommy and me group, but I want to join one so.bad!
ReplyDeleteYou're an IF blogger???? ;)
ReplyDelete~Hugs as always~
I'm so with you my dear.
ReplyDeleteI've tailed off for exactly the same stuff but i've lost readers since i got pg so I do know that people can't always deal with it.
I wondered about the hyphens several times.
We'll always bear the scars. Write what you want. I always apologise and i think that's getting really boring (on my blog that is) so just go for it.
xxxx
Yes! We read for ~you~, not your IF. Although sometimes it seems difficult to seperate the two, even at 38.5 weeks pregnant!
ReplyDeleteI found your blog just as you were entering the cycle that gave you O-man.
ReplyDeleteI don't care what you're blogging about.
I just like to read what you write!
((HUGS))
As long as you type a few words now and then and throw in a pix or two of the O-man, I'll be following you.
ReplyDeleteThat was very touching, JJ. It made me cry. I'm sorry I haven't always been there for you the way you've been there for me. I went through my pregnancy at the same time you did (after TTC for two years) and also had a c-section and I felt and still feel like you are my life raft and my candle in the window. Don't go away! I love you dearly even though I don't know you because I feel that we are connected on some level.
ReplyDelete