Friday, June 29, 2007

The bags remain un-packed

Back in the land of reality. No more late night walks down Duval Street, and Key Lime pie at 11 in the morning! No more job offers that got me thinking, "Hey I could do this all day..."

So yes, we are back. In full force I might add! We arrived home later than expected due to storms in FL and the bags got tossed to the foot of our bed, and have remained there all week. Monday, bright and early, we had our injections class! Welcome home! That was definitely a way to focus back on what life is going to be like for the next month. It went fine--Mook and I both feel a little overwhelmed, but I know where to go for any questions=) I started Sy.narel on Tuesday-so it's an official GO of this cycle. I have made a dorky med calendar to keep me straight until my 1st ultrasound on the 9th (in case dosage changes), and I start stims next week. I'm getting quite nervous about this part--I dont think I've ever been more nervous about something silly like air bubbles and how dull a needle can be....

We had a great trip--good weather, great friends to spend time with, and as I mentioned above, even a job offer (Ill get to that...) Went snorkeling and saw a 7 foot nurse shark! That was very cool....good thing it was down a few feet that it didnt seem to be paying any attention to us. Got to have some great margaritas and other fruity concoctions, saw some beautiful sunsets and got a BEE tattoo=) I still want to get the real thing someday, but this cute little bee is still going strong on my right ankle. Spent the last few days at Mick.ey's land of residence--we let the kids in us live it up and just had a great time!

Most importantly, Mook and I were able to relax. We didnt talk in depth about what was coming up...but Mook did a great job of just catching me off guard every now and then and telling me he loved me and no matter what happens in the next month or so, that WE are FAMILY. That means a lot every time he says it...

So the job offer. The week before we left on vacation, I completed a true dream of mine ever since I was little: I recorded a CD. I can't express in words how much music and singing has meant to me since I was little--just one of those things patched into my DNA. I sang all around the house as a kid, and got enough courage to audition and get roles in musicals in high school and college--even some community theater after college. And then it just kind of died for a while...and I realized how much I missed it. How I didnt want to let that part of me fade away--it's too much a part of me. So since January, I have been working with 2 musicians I know and a recording studio, and I am now a recording artist! Pretty darn cool...
So that led me to have a tiny bit more courage when we were at a bar in KW (and no, I wasn't even drinking) to volunteer to help this guy playing sing the chorus to a song. That led to him asking me to stay on stage and sing some more....and then the manager asked Mook if we wanted to move to KW--he was ready to give me a job. I can just drift away in my mind and imagine the kind of life that would be.....but I'm still more comfortable just where I am....I just have to be good about keeping my desires in perspective and not let go of a dream....

In other news, I did get my hair chopped--a whole 9 inches. I was nervous up until the final snip! Once I get my pictures downloaded from the trip, I'll share them on Picture Pages. I've had a few panic days, where I don't like it--but overall, Im very happy with it--and boy was it great to have it so easy to manage at the beach!

So it's been a busy time...and it's about to get even busier. We hope to just relax this weekend and get the house in order (and bags unpacked) and get ready for this next step....thanks for all the well wishes while we were gone--and for the lovely BB mail I had when I got home! I love it!
Have a great weekend!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Last Hoorah...

I'd like to give hope a chance.

I'd like to REALLY hope that this is the last big vacation I will take: a) without my kid(s) in tow OR b) worry about the said kid(s) we are leaving behind with grandma and grandpa. =)

I'd like to come back with a cool new haircut (getting it chopped tomorrow!!), a killer tan (but no sunburn) and a renewed sense of peace about what we are getting ourselves into the day we get back from vacation. I got the dreaded call today about when we are planning on paying for this sucker...

I'd really like to believe what my cousin just wrote to me in an email (the one who just announced her pregnancy) that "just relax and it will happen." Yup she said the words that make me cringe. But I can't be upset--they just got "lucky" the cycle after a failed IUI....and I am truly happy for her.

And lastly, and most important--I will be thinking of you all and wishing for lots of BFP announcements when I return--I know some will be getting results when I am away!

All I ask of you while we are away on hopefully the last (childless) hoorah, is thoughts and prayers that Mook and I come back prepared mentally and physically for whatever this next step will bring...the countdown is on my friends, and while we cant wait for it to get here, we also are nervous that it's right around the corner....


Friday, June 8, 2007

Week in Review

What a week. I'm officially back on BC. It hasn't been too bad thank goodness--I guess my body is so used to it. I got my protocol in the mail on Wednesday--and we go for our injections class the DAY we get back from vacation. What a way to welcome us home! I also start Syn.arel the 26th, so it's feeling more real every day. I'm getting nervous...


I had dinner with 2 of my girlfriends from college on Monday night--we try to get together at least every 3 months (this time it had been more like 7). One is married, the other still looking for her Mr. Right...the married friend told us last time we got together that she and her husband were getting ready to go through some tests since they had been trying for 2 years. I remember when she told us that many months ago, that I felt so sad that they had to go through that--welp, now she and I are IVF buddies IRL. The look on both our faces was just relief...relief that we could talk openly and have a shoulder to lean on. The other friend was very patient and understanding--asking questions and just listening. I will actually cycle before her--they are aiming for a September start date. It was just a good feeling knowing we can be there for each other...


2 difficult things for me this week. 1st was overhearing a person at my place of work complaining how fast she got pregnant--she has 4 beautiful girls. The dialogue was:

"I just didn't have time to breathe! I'd pop one out (yes, she really said this) and then I'd be preggers again. I finally told my husband that we weren't going to have s3x for a year so I wouldn't be fat for at least ONE bathing suit season." (followed by annoying giggle)

I just wanted to cry. She was only a stone throw from my office, and I just had this image of me jumping over my desk in a primate type lunge, thus knocking her to the floor and then I would proceed to whisper in a very angry voice: "Don't you know how LUCKY you are to just POP babies out!?" Of course, I wouldn't do this...I'm not that violent. But I had a smirk on my face as she got up to leave....

2nd was visiting a school for mentally and physically disabled children. It is part of our public school system here, so I am very thankful that this school has the resources they have-and that there are teachers that can work with these wonderful children. But I cannot express the knot that was logged in my throat---I went with a coworker, and when we passed a GYM full of walkers/wheelchairs, I almost lost it. It was just such a reality-reminder--life is so precious. These children will never know a "normal" life...their parents must grieve for "that life" their children will never have....I left there with just an ache in my chest. I finally broke down last night when I told Mook about the visit...I just wanted to reach out to all of these children and make their pain go away...


Good things this week:

Just found out today that my cousin is pregnant! I am so happy for her--she is a few years older than me, and has been married 3 (maybe 4?) years this July. They have been trying since their honeymoon. I am just so happy for their good news!

Almost vacation time: I really think life knows when you are getting ready to go on vacation-cause I have worked hard this week! We are headed to the lake this weekend to put our kayaks to good use--I love being on the water--so peaceful. I'll take each moment of peace I can get! My thoughts and prayers are being sent across the miles as some of you are entering your 2ww, or getting ready to start a cycle!


And lastly: I began wearing my "Make Aware" bracelet on Wednesday: exactly a month before I start injections. It is my constant reminder of all of you....

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

The "Big" Announcement...

So I fear that by giving a heads-up for the announcement that I may disappoint some of you with what it is. But I admit-I continue to be excited about this, and I can only hope that you all will be too! A big thanks to My Reality for planting the seed to extend this little venture...she will be a big help in keeping this project running smoothly.

Without further adieu, I would like to announce that:

We are resurrecting Mortimer.

There was such an overwhelming response to memories that you all had of the original Pic.ture, that we thought: Why not bring it back in our own modified, modern version!? So Happy Birthday, Mortimer! You are born again!

If you will direct your eyes to the right hand side of the page, you will see a new visual added. This nifty little button will allow you to view the outer shell of what the new and improved PP looks like. However, you will notice that you must subscribe in order to see the contents within. Let me stress: this is not a secret society or anything. This is simply for all the members protection-this will allow anyone who wants to join to post more personal pictures (don't think dirty here folks) but if you wish to reveal a picture of your face/significant other/whatever, that you don't necessarily want Joe Schmoe to stumble across when he/she finds your blog, then this will be the perfect place to post it!

Once you enter your email address to subscribe, myself or My Reality will accept your membership and you post your Picture Pages! It is easy to navigate, you can still comment on posts (it's just called "discuss" on this page) and if you get stuck there is a Help button and of course me or MR to ask!

AND there will be a bi-weekly picture challenge! What a cool way to use another part of our brains while most of us are waiting through that dreaded bi-weekly wait! MR and I will come up with the first couple rounds of challenges, and then we will open it up to suggestions. The picture challenge will post every 2 weeks on the group page, and everyone will be notified by email-and you can always see the post on the group page as well. If you don't get to participate every 2 weeks, no biggie! Everyone gets busy, so you will not be kicked out if you are not posting!

Feel free to move your pic pages over to this new page, or just use it for future picture challenges. Here are a few of the requests I received, and the rest are in the group page--I did get requests for more personal pics, and I will let Mortimer share those!

The Momcaster asked for a beach picture. This is a sunset view from my g'parents beach house that we visited over Mem.orial Day weekend. I feel so lucky that I have grown up seeing these sunsets every summer. We go out in the early morning when the tide is low and search for shells-its one of my favorite things to do.

For the Flavor asked for the contents of my purse. To the left you have a pouch that my best friend gave me in 7th grade--it holds my i.pod and fertility stone from Lara. Then you've got my business card holder, mini calendar/check book, then my wallet, my work keys, my planner (cannot live without this) my cosmetic bag-must haves are Niv.ea face cream and hand sanitizer.

And Fertilize Me asked for a picture of my feet in the sand...we went to the beach one morning and it was low tide--so this picture is actually taken pretty far out in the ocean on a sand bar.

So come on over and visit Mortimer and see the rest of the picture requests. Post your own! And don't forget to get those cameras ready for the picture challenge!

Friday, June 1, 2007

I'll Be There For Yooooooou

1st: I did not know that this person's 1st child was conceived through IVF
2nd: I wish I had the $$ she does to not have to worry about "when she will do it..."
3rd: Related to the 2nd point, maybe I can write to her and ask her to donate some funds to our attempt?

This Friend is going to hop on the IVF train...

Have a good weekend all.....announcement (which inst anything huge and glamorous, sorry) will hopefully be ready Monday!