Thursday, August 28, 2008
A little blue, a little pink--just to cover both case scenarios. And no, this is not the cake that we ate yesterday-- but ours was yummy too. I enjoyed every single bite of (both) pieces that I consumed--one for me, one for Ron.
So here I am at my goal. Don't be fooled--I've already set more of the g-word, but this one was truly a milestone, and one that is being treasured. I woke up feeling so thankful, and had a nice long chat with God. Have any of you seen the new show The Cleaner? While I am not a former drug addict on a mission, I do find myself just talking with God--while it's not the formal type of praying, it feels comfortable and I feel connected. I've had a lot of alone time with the big man upstairs and it's always nice to remember to share the good moments too...I tend to ask so much of His time in the scary/bad moments.
The second thing I did, was to take out my nifty doppler that came a week ago--thank you Nancy for the great recommendation. It's actually the same brand my OB uses--just not as high tech. It's a small wonder that I don't have that thing in hand and on tum at all times. So there was Ron, making some noise for me--heart beat and squirming. We talked for a bit (well I talked, he listened) and I said "I love you" about 20 times, and I promised cake for later.
To keep this post from being a novel, I will break down some thoughts and hopefully keep from going so long between posts-annnnd really get back into blog-mode, becauuuuuse....as of next Wednesday I am off bed-rest! Let me share why this is:
-At it's largest, the hematoma was 5cm. It is now .9cm (as in point 9) Hallelujah!
-Last week, we had a scan at 12w1 day, and I was measuring 12w4d-all good growth. Previa still there, but they will continue to keep an eye on it.
-Because I was measuring ahead, our u/s technician recommended to go forward with the NT scan and measurements that day--she was afraid we'd miss the window. Originally we were going to wait until Mook was back in town this week, but I knew he'd be OK with me going forward with it. The tech was soooo nice--she said she could get he measurements, even though I didn't have a full bladder. Ron was being a "side-winder" and made it difficult at first to get them, but she was willing to take as long as needed--fine with me, but I have to say it was a tad weird when she started jiggling the dildo cam to get Ron to move. Umm, yea. Most action I've seen in months.
- I was not expecting this, but my blood work was back and since the tech got the measurements, the Doc was able to give me the results that day! I held my breath, said a prayer, and he turned the computer screen for me to see:
Chances of Down Syndrome before testing: 1 in 777. After testing/bw: 1 in 5, 749
Chances of Trisomy 13/18: 1 in 300. After testing/bw: 1 in 10,000
Extremely thankful for these numbers-but even if we are the 1 in those numbers, this child is loved no mater what.
These past few weeks have been a true test: one I could write numerous posts on, and hope to get my thoughts together enough to do so. But when does infertility stop becoming a test? I think it forces you to look at life in a whole new way-a more appreciative way. And I am capital A appreciative.
Next appointment is at 14w1d-my sweet OB said that typically he wouldn't see me back until 16w, but he knows I would stalk him if he made me wait that long. I want that hematoma completely out of my vocabulary. I tried my darnedest to peek at the goods at the scan, but no go. Our official anatomy scan is 18weeks, so some time to play the guessing game--which is fun too.
But really it's been a day to day thing. No talk of nursery, plans, etc. Im not quite there. We've talked names, but that has been going on since the day we got married. Not new territory. I do have some questions I need help with: Im having a hard time convincing myself that the pain in my left side I had all day yesterday was round ligament pain. Help diagnosis me--it feels like a muscle cramp, but sometimes is REALLY painful. Other question: I am a hot dog fan. I can't escape it. I did wait until after the 12w mark, and made sure it was cooked, but stuff I read says no to hot dogs at all. Do I need to lay off the dogs? (I had one tonight...)
As far as how Im feeling: everything crossed, I seem to be past the nausea. Still have some food aversions. I have a headache everyday, sometimes really bad. The nose is still stuffed up, and have a feeling it will stay that way.
We've started telling family and close friends...I still get nervous about it. Im very protective of the news--but Mook on the other hand, tells everyone he meets--which is cute. When he was coming back from PA last week, he bought a baby name book and the whole freakin' airport bought him a drink.
So I have a lot to catch up on with all of you--and I cant wait to reconnect. Thank you so much for being patient with me...
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