Thursday, March 10, 2011

No Name

There are definitions for a lot of things...

Joy: rejoice; feel happiness
Sadness: emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being

But what is the word for the in between emotion that exists between joy and sadness?

Because that's where I have hovered the past few days.

On Saturday, I got to pull of a wonderful surprise...flying across the country to wrap my BFF in a hug as she is preparing for lots of changes in her life. (Ms. Rottenstinker has an active, cute toddler, is 7 1/2 months pregnant, has a rambunctious 6 month old lab, and is moving) Crazy? Yes. But I love her.

On Tuesday, my grandfather passed away.

Even now, I sit and grapple with the roller coaster of emotions. I'm waiting to see what I will do as far as traveling to be with my family while I simultaneously wrap glasses in moving-paper and spend time with someone I care about so much.

Since I suck at adjusting to time change, Im still a bit loopy as it is currently 1am EST, but I am enjoying my 2nd glass of wine, in honor of my grandfather, and trying to formulate sentences that properly explain this in between emotion.

I guess I am also just ready to be in more of a steady pattern of life right now...2011 has not been the kindest to me yet, and I'd like to get off this roller coaster. I am happy to be here with her. Can't fib and say it's not hard to want that cute belly she's sporting.

And when you sit and try and come up with more words, and its been 20 minutes, its time to just hit "Publish Post"...

If anyone can define this emotion for me, Id greatly appreciate it. Until then, I think limbo land is where I will remain.
Thoughts from JJ
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24 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 10, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    Oh my sweet friend, I'm so sorry about your Grandpa. It is never easy to lose a loved one.

    How awesome that you're there with the gorge Rottenstinker, but u know I have a small idea she'll get the limbo feeling you have about being so happy to be with her but also wanting that cute belly she's sporting... She's kinda cool like that, so go with it. Roll with it.

    As for a word to describe it? Kersmilefunkle.

    That's the best i can come up with.

    xxx

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  2. BigP's HeatherMarch 10, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    You are a great friend to go and help someone move!!!
    I'm very sorry to hear about your Grandfather.

    I wish I had a word for it. It needs a word.

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  3. DelennMarch 10, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    You are such and awesome friend, and I am sure you were an awesome grandaughter. At least you are with someone who you care about and she cares for you, while your other emotions are in turmoil over the ones you love.

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  4. Melis.saMarch 10, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    I'm so sorry about the passing of your grandfather.

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  5. battynurseMarch 10, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Hugs to you.

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  6. SueMarch 10, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    So very sorry for your loss. Losing a grandparent is hard. I hope the time you spend with your good friend and, later, family, helps ease your sorrow.

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  7. SarahMarch 10, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather sweetie. And I am happy you are enjoying your visit with your friend. Limbo is about right. Somewhere in the middle. Here's hoping it moves closer and closer to happy everyday.

    xo

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  8. Lori Lavender LuzMarch 10, 2011 at 2:03 PM

    The longer I live, the more I see in shades of gray. But not gray along a continuum of black to white, but gray as an ongoing mixture of black and white.

    Joy/Sadness is the same. It's not a 2 dimensional continuum, but a multidimensional melange. Meaning it's not either/or, it can be both at the same time.

    And envy can creep in there, too :-).

    My condolences on the loss of your grandfather. I don't know much about him except that you were one of his legacies, so I am betting he was quite a man.

    Hugs, JJ.

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  9. GilMarch 10, 2011 at 2:10 PM

    My condolences to you and yours on the loss of your grandfather. I am so sorry. But I am glad you could surprise your BFF; that must have been wonderful!

    I don't know of a word that works to describe these emotions, but I'd love to hear if you come up with something. I just call it a messed up week.

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  10. MazzyMarch 10, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    I am so sorry about the loss of your grandfather. I know death is ever present in life, but I am utterly stunned at the number of family members my friends are losing right now. I cannot imagine the sadness and I pray you'll find some peace as time passes for you.

    Life as an adult is so often caught between a high and a low. I think God helps with the lows by throwing in the highs to balance them out? I don't know.

    xoxo

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  11. HereWeGoAJenMarch 10, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    I'm sorry about your grandfather.

    I've been in a place where I've felt joy and sadness at the same time. It's...unique.

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  12. SummerMarch 10, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    I'm sorry about your Grandfather.

    And I know the feeling, but I don't know the word.

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  13. areyoukiddingmeMarch 10, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Best I can come up with is Bittersweet.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I'm jealous that you had him this long (one of mine died before I was born, the other when I was 13).

    I guess you could also call it good fortune that you are with a wonderful friend waiting for a joyous event during a very trying time in your life.

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  14. Life HappensMarch 10, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. In time you will be able to get through the state of emotional limbo. Just know that there are a lot of people thinking about you and praying for you. :)

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  15. RottenMarch 11, 2011 at 11:53 PM

    It was by far one of the best surprises ever and a simple "thank you" does it no justice. I love that you were here for the closing of our house, my baby shower, Cailin's birthday, and the beginning of packing, but also grateful that you were here for our trip to the ER with Cailin and the death of your grandfather. The good stuff is easy to celebrate with your BFF. It's the tough stuff that shows the true depth of the friendship.

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  16. AnonymousMarch 13, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    I'm sorry too to hear about your grandpa. I wish I had some sweet words of comfort.

    A Southerner told me once when trying to explain how I felt that I was bumfuzzled. It's truly a word they use here. So, since it sounds so dang funny, let's roll with that!

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  17. Jessica WhiteMarch 13, 2011 at 8:17 PM

    JJ, I'm so sorry about your grandpa. There isn't a word... or at least not one I can think of. Hugs to you.

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  18. JamieMarch 13, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    I am so sorry about your Grandfather. I'm familiar with the feeling but I don't know the word either. Something I have learned - in the game of grief, anything goes.

    Thinking of you and hoping you are able to enjoy some girl time with your friend.

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  19. Somewhat OrdinaryMarch 14, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    I know we've talked, but just wanted to tell you I'm thinking of you. Wishing your family peace and comfort.

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  20. KirMarch 14, 2011 at 12:27 PM

    you are amazing, AH-MAZING.

    I am glad you are ok,..back home, and please know I am wrapping you in friend hugs...lots of them.

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  21. Suzy, Not a Fertile MyrtleMarch 14, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    Sending you loads of love and peace.

    xo

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  22. CibeleMarch 14, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Oh no dear, I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. 2011 better start being kind to you. 2009 was the same for me, one thing after the other and I barely would have time to catch my breath before another wave would hit me and send me under water. I can relate in so many levels with this unnamed feeling ... I am yet to find a name for it. Hopeful soon the name will not matter since you will be no longer there and will at a joyous place. HUGS! Hang in there and we are here for you!

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  23. BumpyJourneyMarch 16, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    Hope you are doing okay!! <3

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  24. KristinMarch 16, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    I'm so sorry I missed this post last week and I am beyond sorry to hear about the loss of your grandpa. {{{Hugs}}}

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