Friday, February 16, 2007

Plan B

I am a planner. I believe in carrying my day-timer with me at all times. I consider myself very organized. I always think ahead--trying to make sure I have prepared myself in case my "plan" goes astray. Sometimes too much so--right, Mook?

I bring up this fact since today is one of the days we have to put "Plan B" into action.

First let me say:
  1. I am thankful for the doctor and nurses at my OBGYN. They really have been top-notch. They call me. They answer all my questions and don't sound annoyed when doing so. Mook's doctor has been good too-a little on the spacey side sometimes, but I am thankful for his staff too, for getting his information over to my doc in a timely manner.
  2. I am thankful for the support of our family. I honestly don't think we'd be handling all this so well if it weren't for them.
  3. I am thankful for my husband in more ways than I can explain. He has been so patient, so willing to do "whatever it takes" to get us through to the other side, and he has not made this an "ego" issue: never saying "why me" or "I am the one to blame" I respect him immensely for that. If the shoe were on the other foot, I can't say I would be as "grown-up" about it--I would probably we wallowing in self-pity more than I'd like to admit.
  4. I am thankful for our over-all health. Bottom line: things could be a lot worse. So I need to thank my lucky stars every day.
So what is Plan B? This plan involves us going back to the doctor (my OBGYN) sooner than we thought.

I received a call from my OBGYN's nurse, Chris, this morning. I was sort of surprised to hear from her since I didn't have any upcoming appointments, and we were in "no-worries, mon" mode for the next three months. The reason for her calling me was to let me know that they had received Mook's 2nd analysis, and said: "Honey, we need to get you all in here for the next step." *Gulp*

She proceeded to walk me through the nitty-gritty of Mook's latest results. They were actually a little lower than what Mook's doctor had told him over the phone. Count is 24 million-still better than the first round. But the motility is very, very low. His guys aren't on a mission. They are happy just floating about. Morphology is abnormal too. The the biggest blow: "After running your numbers and doing our analysis of your health, your chance of conceiving on your own is 2%"


Yes, that was a hard thing to hear. Mentally, it is still sinking in. But in the back of my mind (well, not even really the back--still lodged in my frontal lobe) was the knowledge that we might not be "natural-baby-makers." But there is always a possibility--I don't want to give that up!

We have an appointment for March 7th for Mook and I to meet with my OBGYN to discuss our "plan of action." I did find out from Chris 2 very good things about an RE. There is one that is affiliated with Duke who comes to an office in Greensboro every two weeks. AND there is one that Dr. Davis usually works with that is in High Point--which is only 20 minutes from us! So that is great news-not having to trek 45 minutes to an hour each time we need to meet with the RE or have any procedures done.

So that's where we are: Mook and I have a lot of talking to do this weekend. We are headed to VA to visit my family for the weekend-which will give us added support. Chris and Dr. Davis have already hinted that we might want to bypass IUI and go straight to IVF with the numbers we are looking at. I need our IF community to help us out here--have some of you bypassed IUI all together? What are your feelings on going straight to IVF? Lots of thoughts to toss around. We are still only given a 20% chance each time of IUI, so it seems iffy to me. Share any thoughts/experiences/advice. I am like a sponge!

Not the best of days, but not the worst. We are one step closer....


  1. If I had it to do over again, I would opt to go straight to IVF.

    It is a very personal choice though. It depends on what you can afford, what you can endure emotionally, etc.

    We had similar male factor issues which our doctors down-played. I was on the verge of the age danger zone when we started (35.5) and was 38 by the time they encouraged us to try IVF. It's hard to say whether our outcome might have been better 2.5 years sooner, but I will always wonder.

    I hope you can make a choice that feels good to you.

    If you have good insurance and you have time on your side, maybe trying IUU first is wise. It's certainly less invasive and works for many people.

    Good Luck!

  2. I remember when we first got that very same news. It was really hard to take. And we also had a lot of thinking and talking to do.

    We opted to go straight to IVF. I am glad I did. It was the most expensive but it also gave us the best chance ( and evened the pregnancy playing field). I didn't want to waste any time or my emotions on IUI let-downs because our chances of conceiving that way were just too low.

    Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. And good luck. :)

  3. I remember hearing the heartbreaking news for the first time, first my PCOS, then Mr. Kite's poor morphology. In my mind I was saying "Nooo this can't be happening!" But Dr. N is optimistic. So we decided to do monitored cycles first then IUI. It's a good way of easing my way and familiarizing myself with ART. The more options I had, the better I felt knowing that we had a back-up plan. We might be lucky with IUI.

    I agree with Beagle, it's a personal choice. And age is a big factor, and of course finances. IVF is quite expensive and it doesn't have guarantees either.

    Good luck!

  4. I totally understand. Mr Tigger and I have only a 1% chance every month. As he put it, we only need 100 months to conceive. I then pointed out that 100 months is 8 years...ACK!

    We tried IUI, but didn't know at the time that our chances were only 13%. If you have 20%, that's as much as a normal healthy couple...not too shabby. I would prefer 50%, of course. :)

    I would do at least one round of IUI first, if not 3. Familiarize yourself with ARTs on a smaller scale first before bringing out the big guns. I also think "Why shell out $12K if $1K will work?" I agree with the others - if you have time and the money to spare, try IUI first. Good luck hun!

  5. I'm sorry to hear about the bad news. At least the nurse called you "honey." That always makes me feel better. Before IVF, I started with a round of timed intercourse, basically like IUI but "au natural" at the end. We did this because insurance would still cover the drug cost for timed, but not for IUI (go figure!) If you feel you're young enough to try a round or two of IUI, it's less stressful and less expensive than IVF. The stimming for IVF is a lot more intense and then there's transfer and retrieval procedures that you'd avoid. 20% chance is not too bad. But you have to follow your heart on this one.

    I don't know what other clinics you're considering, but NCCRM (which I go to) has an office in Greensboro, which might be a little closer for you.

  6. I'd go straight to IVF if it is financially possible.

    We didn't, but our problems are different and we needed to save for IVF.

    I remember thinking about what path to choose at the time and wanting to bypass IUI. I didn't want to waste all my emotional reserves on such a small possibility.

    Good luck with your decision. Try not to second-guess yourself no matter what you choose. There may be no exactly perfect answer.

  7. This is a hard one but, like others, if I had to do this all over again, I would 110% skip all the other stuff and go straight (running) to IVF. We wasted so much time & money on injectibles and IUI' I know we didn't have a chance for that to work for us BUT that is because of my endometriosis. Before IVF, I wanted to try everything, just praying it would work so I didn't have to resort to IVF. But, the truth wasn't so bad. In fact, I felt so much better about it because my chances were so much higher. My RE even told me prior to my 2nd IUI that if it weren't for the cost of IVF (my insurance doesn't cover a dime of it) then he would have told me to do that from day one.Plus, the clinic I go to will only do ICSI so we knew that only increased our chances even more.
    It's a very personal decision but just talk it through and go with your gut. And feel free to ask any questions along the way!!!

  8. We went the IUI route. (My DH has about 25 million per millilitre, motility of 2mm per minute, and some horrible morphology). We have set a limit of three IUI's though, and then we'll move on to the heavy artillery.
    Your doc may suggest IUI first. If he does it may be worth a shot, but set yourself a limit. I do know people with worse numbers that have conceived with IUI.
    Good luck, whatever you choose!

  9. I'm sorry, thats hard to hear. Mine was 1% and I cried all the way home. Good luck with whatever you decide, but if you can afford to go the IVF route, I'd say give that a go first.

  10. Alot of people skip steps 1-400 and go straight to IVF. Good luck to you and Mook in what ever you choose. You have to choose what you feel is right for y'all . We have an appointment with an RE tomorrow. I am not as good a writer but you can stop by my melodramatic blog some time - its nice to not be alone on this journey - Farah

  11. Hi. We're not at the IVF stage yet but I remeber the day I got my PCOS diagnosis. It was like a bit of a relief. I felt like, okay, now I know what the deal I can open up a can of whoop ass on my fertility!
    Good Luck, and stay positive!


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