Into the rabbit hole...

Journal: a daily written record of (usually personal) experiences and observations

And so it begins: the documentation of the journey we began in July 2006 to expand our family!

Over the past few weeks, my husband and I have learned more than we ever thought we would need to know--and as many of you know--it is overwhelming! One of the comforts that our generation has is the immediate resources of the Internet; although these resources are not always the most comforting! But I was fortunate to come across a wealth of information and personal journals of couples going through similar situations. What a relief! And I say that in a way that I know my fellow bloggers will understand: I do not wish for any of us to experience these difficulties, but there is a power in numbers, as they say. Support in any shape or form is a true blessing.

We both look forward to getting to know more about what other couples have gone through, and hopefully we will also be a source of knowledge for others. Our ultimate goal is to have this journal as a reflection in times of sorrow, joy and hopefully some day our child will be able to look back on this incredible journey--and see the love that started from the very beginning!

Let me do a bit more to introduce the couple that wants to pass on the family "jeans"!

I come from a family of 3 children, my husband is an only child. We knew from the beginning of our relationship that we wanted to have at least one little bambino to call our own...and with some convincing, I have talked my hubby into at least two! We were married in October of 2005, and knew we wanted some "peace and quiet" for at least a while--so we planned to start trying after a year. I have been on some sort of birth control for 13 years (up until July) and was a bit concerned that my body might have a hard time of going off all those hormones so quickly...so off I came in July, and we waited until November to start our journey. Right off the bat, we both were thinking about our "August Born Baby" because it would just be easy to get pregnant the first try, right?! Oh what a lesson...

So we tried again...and again...and again. Now you may be already thinking: "You have only tried 4 months! That's not long enough to start worrying!" Well, I have always had a good "sixth" sense...I just had a feeling that something wasn't quite right. I grew up on birth control, due to painful periods and "possible" thyroid and cyst problems, and the painful periods were back in full force. Must be something wrong with me! I made an appointment and went in to get the "full service."

Let me just say I hate waiting. And that's a LOT of what this journey is about. Waiting. My doctor was quick to tell me that a LOT of waiting would go into this whole process...great. However, I am lucky to have a doctor that (so far) is very willing to help us along in the baby game. He immediately feared I might have some endometriosis...but that test was not to be done 1st. He scheduled me for an ultrasound, some blood work (TSH and Rubella), and an HSG. All this was done last month...and at the same time, we decided to get DH (dear husband) tested as well--might as well go all in!

Well, I think we were both surprised. My plumbing seems to be in good shape. I am ovulating on schedule, and had clear tubes! The DH results were not as encouraging...and very scary to both of us, since we had no prior knowledge of things that could go wrong on the male side.

Initial results are low morphology, a 5 million count, and only 25% of those are "normal" We dont have the other exact numbers yet-we are waiting for the 2nd test which will be next week. Poor DH had his first prostate exam...I still don't think he's forgiven me for that. And bless his heart, had another "hand up the rear" when he went back for his follow up. I got the look you get when you take your dog to the vet "BUT I LOVE YOU-why are you doing this to meeee"

2nd analysis to be done this coming Tuesday--oh how romantic can you get in the hospital parking lot? Not very. But we shall prevail! Blood tests should be ready that day too--and we go back for our 3rd appointment with the urologist on the 16th. Then we either get referred to a specialist, or who knows....

So here we are. A couple who continues to imagine a little one in our lives...and we just pray every day we will have that opportunity. I read on a fellow blog that this situation either rips a marriage apart or makes it strong as steel. Steel aint got nothing on us....