"Where there is hope for the future, there is power in the present."
"....I have always felt your yearning, but it just really hit me hard for you the other night....I could just truly, truly feel and sense your emotions Sunday night. Also, yesterday I got out the diary I started for you when I found out I was pregnant with you. It brought back sooooo many memories.....memories I can't wait for you to have.....it reaffirmed for me that it will happen for you. I don't know when, but I just know in my mommy heart it will."
Mook had actually known for about a week--they wanted to be sensitive to what we have been through, and I really do appreciate it. There are friendly fertiles out there=) We knew they were trying-so it helped pad the shock a little-and they weren't sure she'd be able to--she's had some medical issues since having her 1st.
Of course I burst into tears when they left--SO bittersweet for me. I was so thankful for their gentle way of telling me, but so sad that it wasn't me sharing the news, and reinforced my struggle with being idle. Mook came back inside to find me sobbing in the "extra" bedroom...he thought I might be mad at him for not preparing me--but I wasn't at all. I knew he needed the time to process the news as well--he said he came home that night after they told him and cried--well of course that made me cry harder. We just sat side by side for a while, feeling such mixed emotions. Later that evening, we shared a toast over 2 glasses of wine, both of us saying the exact same thing: "To what lies ahead..."
We are heading into the mountains to celebrate our anniversary...and enjoy some happy emotions!