Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ninja Power

I apologize for not updating sooner--I realized today its actually been a full week since the appointment.

One of my many faults is I get lost in thought when things aren't going so well, and I loose track of time--so, I am sorry. I appreciate the awesome ju-ju that was sent my way and even the gentle reminder from a friend (ahem, areyoukiddingme) that I had not given you all the update.

The short version?

Its not great news but not terrible news.

Can you see where I might get lost in thought when faced with being in that limbo space? Uh huh.

And truthfully, I still don't have the full story to tell since another piece of the puzzle will be answered with an appointment tomorrow.

But first you must know about the wonderful company I had last Tuesday. Don't tell Mook, but I woke up next to another man on the morning of my appointment:

Meet my Pocket-Ninja, Mojo

This little blue dude came in the mail last Monday from my blog-IRL-twitter buddy, Suzy. He also has ninja brothers that are taking up residence in other blogger homes throughout the world. These little guys stay with us in our pockets to remind us of the awesome arse-kicking power of those that stand with us in times of trouble.

So Mojo was ready to rise and shine and get me moving the morning of my appointment. Too bad he wasn't tall enough to make the bed...

Breakfast of champions for a girl with a nervous stomach. Water & saltines

Sitting with me in the waiting room, propped by O-mans sippy cup. We all need some form of support.

Death grip on Mojo as my name was called...

Mojo volunteering to go through the procedure for me.
The photo-therapy treatment was not painful, just ironically looks like a bad sunburn. And it is still never lost on me that it happens to be on my va-jay-jay. Many have said it: could I be more of a Grey's An.atomy cliche?

With a portion of my inguin.al lymph nodes getting a good laser zap and more skin/tissue left in a petri dish, I left the office with a hug from my doctor and a reassuring smile. So glad shes been fantastic with all of this.

And with the post-appointment news that she still did not reach clean cells, I will definitely have one more photo-therapy treatment next week, and more decisions will be made from there. I will also have my thyroid dye test and nodule biopsy tomorrow. If that comes back with anything more than my hormones being completely out of whack, I will move to the big guns: a PET scan.

People (who are these "people" anyway?) say that living in a state of denial isnt healthy. Its not that I feel that Im in complete denial, I guess its still surreal. What can you do but take it one day at a time, and hope that your body is working to defend itself. I go from extreme sadness to extreme anger, determined to use both emotions to keep on swimming.

Hey, nothing in my book is harder and more painful than the road I took on the IF journey. Not that this is a walk in the park, but I'll do what I've been doing for a looooong time: HOPE.


  1. I've been thinking about you, sweetie. Fingers crossed you need only phototherapy; sending you healthy vibes and love from Massachusetts. Hope tomorrow goes well.


  2. I think you're doing the right thing, and I'm hoping that next week's appointment brings better news. I'll be there with you, and your ninja, in spirit.

  3. I"m so glad Mojo arrived just in time to be with you while you're dealing with this.

    And he represents so many of us who aren't able to be there with you in person, but we are there with you in spirit.

    I'll be saying specific prayers for you tomorrow my sweet friend.

    And keeping the HOPE with you for brighter, healthier days.

    Lots of love to you!

  4. I have been thinking of you but wanted to give you space all at the same time, it's not easy living in Limbo, but I am glad that you have mojo to remind you of what a warrior you are.
    Sending hugs, hope the appointment tomorrow goes well.

  5. I love that you named your Mojo and that you are taking pictures of his adventures. Mine has only been to work, the grocery store, and a lawyer's office (which I didn't think it was appropriate to snap photos of).

    Hoping along with you and hugging and toasting you soon!

  6. Thanks for the update. Been wondering how the appointment went. GLad the doctor is hopeful and so are you. MUAH


  7. Love the Ninja power.

    I have been thinking of you so much sweetie. I totally know what you mean about it all being surreal. That is exactly how I feel about Missy. I am not in denial, I just can seem to come to terms with it. That's different, right?

    You are in my thoughts and on my heart.


  8. Thanks for updating, JJ. I am in awe of your strength and will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. We're pulling for you up here in NY! xoxo

  9. Love the name, Mojo! I need to come up with a name for mine--except for a while it was Mud...my hubs dropped it out of his pocket (he can be forgiven, he was on drugs after the oral surgery at the time). I found it two days later face down in the mud--heroic little guy! :-)

    Keeping you in my thoughts!

  10. Thinking of you dearie. Between Mook, O-man, and mojo, you have yourself a dream team of support, love, smiles, and ass kicking. :) Oh and the rest of the Pocket Ninjas (TM) too. :)

    Continued prayers and hugs to you!

  11. Ah, love the name! sending all the goodness i can to you

  12. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this!! Praying that the phototherapy works!!!

  13. I love that you now have Mojo by your side.

    Hoping, hoping, hoping with you that one or a few more zaps with the laser will be all that is needed.

  14. I'm glad you have Mojo with you as a reminder of all of us in bloggy land and IRL that are hoping for you too.

  15. I've been thinking about you and sending many, many positive vibes. There's also a candle burning for you here in Bermuda. You're going to kick butt!!!

  16. I have not stopped thinking about you and your sunburned va-jay-jay. Is that totally inappropiate?

    I often wonder who those people are too.

    Hope. I have it for you. Plus lots of hugs, love and prayer. Be strong, JJ.


  17. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending you lots of {{hugs}} I'm glad Mojo is keeping you company ;-)

  18. Hoping and praying right there with you JJ. ((hugs))

  19. Sorry to harass you (not really :) - I was concerned) and sorry to hear that things are not simple and easy. That sounds like the worst place ever for a sunburn.

    Mojo is fantastic - I'm hoping he's all you needed to push you into all-good-news territory.

    A certain amount of brooding is necessary when you have this kind of news. Glad you have a loving husband and fantastic little boy to draw you away from spending all your time lost in thought.

    Fingers crossed that the next report is all good news.

  20. Continuing to pray for you dear lady.

  21. Glad to hear you have a great support system. Love the Ninja! Sending all my best for tomorrow and beyond.

  22. Hey JJ.
    Thinking of you through all of this. Hopefully the next time they're able to get to clean cells and everything looks good.

  23. me too, holding so much HOPE in my hands for you my friend. xoxoxox


  24. I love Mojo and Ninja Power! It is a great source of comfort. Sending lots of love and hope. *hugs*

  25. One day at a time sounds like a good plan to me. Sorry the news isn't better. Hope it will be next time. Love the guardian ninja.

  26. I like your attitude and hope that all of this is cleared up soon! Keep fighting the good fight!

  27. I'm praying for the best results possible! You can do this!!! We're all behind you!!!


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