Just when I was getting my feet planted on the ground…
Just when I thought I could handle managing the unknown and grey area for the next few months…
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly handle anything else…
I got a phone call this past Friday morning as I was driving to work
from my dermatologists office. I had gone in last Tuesday for my 6 month
checkup from the issues I was having last year
– and YAY, all was clear – the Bowen’s Disease is under control and
managed by topical cream, and no re-growth on the mole I had removed
last year. However, she did remove a suspicious mole that had been on her radar (aka, my chart) the past year – but I didnt give it much thought. I left feeling good.
I was happy to have ALL my doctor’s appointments behind me for a
least a little while, so when I answered the phone call and it was my
doctor and not the nurse, I pulled into a parking lot, because when the
doctor calls, its usually not to tell you good news.
That mole biopsy came back as melanoma – CRAP. I drove straight to
see Mook – he was just down the road getting his yearly physical, and I
caught him just before he went in for his appointment. Thank goodness –
because I collapsed into a huge mess – I could not believe what I had
just heard, and above anything else in that moment, I was ANGRY.
How much more can my body handle? And more
importantly, how much more can I handle mentally? This past weekend was
HARD. Really hard. We knew Friday that it was already Stage II based on
the margins, so not knowing if it has progressed past that left us with a
long weekend of questioning/waiting.
Yesterday I went in for the surgical procedure to remove a large
chunk of skin – its between my shoulder blades right on my spine. 45
stitches later, and we are back in the waiting game for this next
So, I’m sorry these updates continue to feel like a boxing TKO – I am
still in a bit of a shocked state, and am just taking life one day at a