I never thought that I would notice that little phrase in every day conversation, i.e.: "You misspelled that word in 2 lines of the press release." or "Did you see the new intersection today? They just painted the 2 lines." I guess when you want to have something SO bad, that you start to find it everywhere...except where it counts.
Anywho, I did see those 2 lines. No, no don't freak out--we aren't a "miracle conception" couple after IVF (yet), but I did see a very dark 2 lines on my opk this past Friday. Thanks to Ms. Gabby (who just got a BFP!) I got to try some new opk tests, and started "dipping the stick" on cycle day 14. I saw a very faint line-so I was encouraged that these were gonna work! I still am not (and don't plan to) temping, and honestly didn't plan to use the dip sticks this time either--but I have morbid curiosity sometimes, so it got the better of me. So Friday came, and on CD 17 I got 2 lines that were dark-what a lovely sight. For a moment, I let myself smile--for the pure fact that I can't wait until I see those 2 lines on the "other kind of test" (that shall not be named).
But onto the "Now what..." Welllllll, Friday was not the best or ideal day for those 2 lines to make an appearance. As Mook and I got on I-95 headed north to D.C. (for the D.C. get-together!) I slyly say: "So umm, Im about to cook an egg." Of course his look was priceless-what crazy pills are you taking? But, since we are both so versed on all this baby-making lingo, he soon realized that I was using fancy-talk to tell him: it's time! Then it became apparent to both of us that we wouldn't really be able to take advantage of that over-easy egg this month. One: we were going to be staying with a friend Friday night (who has 2 small children that like to roam...) and Two: with family the next few nights, and Three: we were going to be dead tired from all the running around we were going to do over the next few days.
It is a hard, hard thing to accept that you won't or can't take advantage of every cycle you have. Sunny has had a similar experience this month too--and I know she and I feel similar about the disadvantages (and some advantages). Obviously, there will be no baby made this month. But, I gained a few things too--I don't have to stress over the next 2 weeks-at ALL. No what if's or maybe it happened. Hopefully my cycle is getting back on track, too. I can just let it go....and pray that I get 2 lines next month.
So maybe we could have skipped a trip to DC for a "maybe baby" month, but I am SO glad we didn't. It was a great trip--we packed a lot in! I got to see friends I hadn't seen in a long time, got to visit with my family, and meet some of the bravest and coolest women I know! It was surreal to be able to sit down and chat and enjoy their company. All of us come from different backgrounds and experiences, but we all get it. And that is a great feeling--knowing I didn't have to explain myself, or feel guilty for any feelings. Mook got to meet many of the ladies too! We headed over to LJ's house for football, and had a great time hanging out with LJ, DMarie and their significant others! Thanks girls...it was fun!
Things are pretty quiet for Mook and me...which is fine by us. Getting projects done, sending out some tunes for the BB girls, working on my happiness challenge, and enjoying my daily coffine (coffee in the AM, wine in the PM). We are thankful for the DIY time, and still hope. Hope that we can remain thankful for the blessings we do have, and for the blessings we hope to have...