Wednesday, September 26, 2007

2 Lines? Now what....

I never thought that I would notice that little phrase in every day conversation, i.e.: "You misspelled that word in 2 lines of the press release." or "Did you see the new intersection today? They just painted the 2 lines." I guess when you want to have something SO bad, that you start to find it everywhere...except where it counts.

Anywho, I did see those 2 lines. No, no don't freak out--we aren't a "miracle conception" couple after IVF (yet), but I did see a very dark 2 lines on my opk this past Friday. Thanks to Ms. Gabby (who just got a BFP!) I got to try some new opk tests, and started "dipping the stick" on cycle day 14. I saw a very faint line-so I was encouraged that these were gonna work! I still am not (and don't plan to) temping, and honestly didn't plan to use the dip sticks this time either--but I have morbid curiosity sometimes, so it got the better of me. So Friday came, and on CD 17 I got 2 lines that were dark-what a lovely sight. For a moment, I let myself smile--for the pure fact that I can't wait until I see those 2 lines on the "other kind of test" (that shall not be named).

But onto the "Now what..." Welllllll, Friday was not the best or ideal day for those 2 lines to make an appearance. As Mook and I got on I-95 headed north to D.C. (for the D.C. get-together!) I slyly say: "So umm, Im about to cook an egg." Of course his look was priceless-what crazy pills are you taking? But, since we are both so versed on all this baby-making lingo, he soon realized that I was using fancy-talk to tell him: it's time! Then it became apparent to both of us that we wouldn't really be able to take advantage of that over-easy egg this month. One: we were going to be staying with a friend Friday night (who has 2 small children that like to roam...) and Two: with family the next few nights, and Three: we were going to be dead tired from all the running around we were going to do over the next few days.

It is a hard, hard thing to accept that you won't or can't take advantage of every cycle you have. Sunny has had a similar experience this month too--and I know she and I feel similar about the disadvantages (and some advantages). Obviously, there will be no baby made this month. But, I gained a few things too--I don't have to stress over the next 2 weeks-at ALL. No what if's or maybe it happened. Hopefully my cycle is getting back on track, too. I can just let it go....and pray that I get 2 lines next month.

So maybe we could have skipped a trip to DC for a "maybe baby" month, but I am SO glad we didn't. It was a great trip--we packed a lot in! I got to see friends I hadn't seen in a long time, got to visit with my family, and meet some of the bravest and coolest women I know! It was surreal to be able to sit down and chat and enjoy their company. All of us come from different backgrounds and experiences, but we all get it. And that is a great feeling--knowing I didn't have to explain myself, or feel guilty for any feelings. Mook got to meet many of the ladies too! We headed over to LJ's house for football, and had a great time hanging out with LJ, DMarie and their significant others! Thanks was fun!

Things are pretty quiet for Mook and me...which is fine by us. Getting projects done, sending out some tunes for the BB girls, working on my happiness challenge, and enjoying my daily coffine (coffee in the AM, wine in the PM). We are thankful for the DIY time, and still hope. Hope that we can remain thankful for the blessings we do have, and for the blessings we hope to have...

Mt. Vernon at twilight--an evening with :just us: and it was perfect...


  1. JJ, it really was just so fabulous having you up here. You and Mook are always welcome in our home - we have a guestroom.

    And Coffine - love it.

  2. It is incredibly hard to see your chance, however tiny, and not be able to take it.

    I'm glad you had a good time though. Sounds lots of fun.

  3. It was so much fun to meet you!! Glad you enjoyed your trip! I hope you come up again some time!

    And thanks for the Phoenix CD- it's in my car, and makes me smile every time I drive. You rock!!

  4. Bitter and Swwt... Sounds like you are chosing the more sweet part.

  5. Goodness it must have been hard knowing you were "cooking an egg" and not be able to do anything about it.
    Sounds like you had a lovely trip to make up for it though.
    It's also really nice just to have some "us" time as it's very easy to lose sight of your relationship on the trip that is IF.

  6. I love, love, love my cd!! Thank you so much. I cried when I read the song descriptions. You are so sweet and I hope I get the chance to meet you one of these days!

    So glad you had a great weekend. The picture at the end is marvelous.

  7. oh, it can be so frustrating to knowingly have to skip an egg. sounds like you're dealing with it beautifully though. i'm so glad you and mook took time for yourselves. it sounds like you had a wonderful time, and that you're in a really good space.

  8. It was so great to finally meet you after a year of getting to know you online! I only wish we had more time.

    It really is hard to take a step back and realize that the thing you've been working so hard for actually isn't the most important thing at this particular moment in time.

    I hope this "break" does some good and allows you to regain some of your sanity. After you catch your breath, of course.


  9. Oh goodie... you sound like you're doing ok. Glad to hear you got to get out and do some visiting.

    I totally know what you mean about missing that chance - however small. There have been a few months when I KNEW I was ovulating but me and the mister just couldn't make it happen. I almost feel guilty about it.

    I hope you continue to do well.

  10. I'm glad you had a good time on your trip. I think it is great the you are so optimistic. I've been trying to stay that way, though I'll admit it is difficult at times. Perhaps a little coffine (heavy in the wine) can change that? :P

    In any event, I'll be hoping and praying that good things come your way soon! You definitely deserve it. :)

  11. You were in my neck of the woods! I live right by Mount Vernon!!

    Enjoy your break. Enjoy one another and all the beautiful things you have in your life!

  12. You got me so excited when I saw the title. I hope it is good practice for when you see the other type of 2 lines (however that may eventually happen)!

  13. At first I thought - Hey, what about a park? Come on! You can find a place to "get busy" for procreation purposes. Then I remembered how nice it is to take a break once in awhile.

    Glad you had such a nice trip!

  14. Hiya there Mz JJ,

    I empathise with the frustration of not being able to act on the 'egg cooking' kind of two lines. I've always found a way to act on them, even though it's largely pointless.

    I'll tell you a slightly amusing story.

    One day, Mz Geohde was working interstate, thinking to herself 'I better NOT get two lines on my predictor kit'. She nearly went as far as not testing, but lacked the control.

    Wouldn't you know it, but second day away, two lines.

    Guess who drove something like four hours to shag and then drive straight back to be on time for work the next morning? Yup.

    The next cycle, of course, we found out about the severe male factor.


  15. I'm glad you took advantage of a wonderful trip. Sometimes it is nice to take a break and just enjoy each other.

  16. You and Mook are great! Can't wait til you come back. We're definitely gonna take you up on your offer :)

    Great pic!

  17. It's good not to be a slave to the opk double line - but it's also hard to know you're passing up an opportunity. That happened to me a lot this year.

  18. It's SO hard to knowingly skip a cycle. I might have pulled over right then and there (hell, back of the car sex seems to work for the under 18 crowd!)

    I'm glad you're taking time for you and Mook and that you had a good weekend. Hope you come back soon!

  19. When are you coming to Toronto? I have a guest room, too!

    It sucks when the opportunity passes you by, but I agree, an unstressful 2ww isn't so bad.

  20. Nice photo! While I understand the mixed feelings about the cycle timing, I'm glad you had a chance to catch up with friends, enjoy yourself, your Mook ... and even a little coffine here and there.

    And your two lines observations were spot on! Thanks again for the Phoenix Mix. Great stuff.

  21. Oh I wish I lived closer, would just love to meet you all!! I am happy that you are happy, you sound so positive and relaxed, it's really good to hear.

    Glad that your cycles are getting back to normal now, that helps too.

    Beautiful pic!

  22. I'm glad you had a good trip to DC, I know it's tough to turn down opportunities when they arise, but as you said, you'll still be able to enjoy the coffine!

  23. Loved your tunes! Thanks so much. I'm sending my mix soon.

    If anyone plans to visit Manila, let me know, I'll roll out the red carpet! I'm so envious you girls get to meet up and have fun.

  24. The first four cycles when we were TTC, we missed each and every egg cooking because of work travel - one of us was always gone. I never got upset at the time because I was adamant that this baby making deal was not going to rule our lives (har har HA!) Glad to hear you are handling it well by filling your lives with other things.

  25. Well, at least your two lines keep showing up, so that is something to celebrate. You can take advantage next time. I'm glad you and Mook have had time to just "be". That is so important! Here's to wishing that continued blessings find there way to you, and in a big fat hurry too!

  26. Glad to hear it sounds like your cycles are getting back on track. Sorry you didn't get a chance to take advantage of it this month, but it sounds like you had a great trip. I like to believe that enjoyment does a body goood! Beautiful photo!

  27. Dammit, I thought I commented on this the other day but apparently not...

    Anyway, I'm a bit behind but sometimes those months off, I find them really mentally a good thing so while it sucks in some ways, I'm kinda glad you got a break too:)

  28. Cook an egg! That line made me laugh! At least your OPKs are doin' their thang! Good luck!

  29. Well we will just have to drink wine like rockstars this month!

    MAN I wish you lived closer!

  30. I love the coffine comment! What better combination is there really??? I appreciate it so much more having gone without it for a couple of months!

  31. ok, I haven't been here in a bit and I just about pooped my pants at the title. NEVER must you do that to me again.

    I'm so sorry though. It must stink to feel like you missed n opportunity like that, regardless of how small.


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