Thursday, January 24, 2008

Play it again, Sam...

Same tune, different day.

*Sigh* I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't. I think I was more mentally prepared this time, but no matter how much I prepared myself for that phone call, it still made my heart lurch into my throat...

Thank you for all the wonderful, positive thoughts you all have been sending our way. It breaks my heart that I just had to call Mook and tell him: I can feel the sadness-he wants so much to be my rock, but really-how can either of us be the strong ones in this type of situation?

I went ahead and scheduled a follow up with the doc for next week--we're not ready to decide what we will do next right now, but we will spend as much time in that office that we need to feel like we are getting the information we need to move on...

We need to be handled with care right now--please continue those positive thoughts for us...we just want to get on the path that will lead to us becoming parents.
Thoughts from JJ
More on

95 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2008 at 11:53 AM

    I'm so sorry, I'll be thinking of you and Mook. :(

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  2. Rachel InbarJanuary 24, 2008 at 11:57 AM

    I'm so sorry. I was keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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  3. TracyJanuary 24, 2008 at 11:58 AM

    I'm so sorry, JJ. No matter how well prepared we think we are, the lurch of our heart after that disappointing news is always just as painful. I'll be thinking of you both.

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  4. JenJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:04 PM

    I am so sorry for you. I'm thinking of you both!

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  5. MJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:05 PM

    I hated to read this...and am so sorry. It hurts to work so hard at something so important and have no control. ((HUGS))

    That being said...my first IVF and FET were a failure...but things worked out. I am hoping the same for you when the time is right to move on.

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  6. MeghanJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:06 PM

    Oh no JJ, I was holding out such hope for you. I am just so sorry and will keep you and Mook in my thoughts.

    Good luck with your follow up appointment and again, I'm so sorry

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  7. SueJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:15 PM

    I'm so sorry. That kind of news never gets any easier.

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  8. DelennJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:16 PM

    I'm so sorry, JJ.

    I wished so hard it would work for you this time, and even when you are prepared for the worst, there is that little bit of hope that keeps creeping in...and makes you feel even worse.

    Please take care of yourself and each other and take all the time you need to heal from this one.

    Good luck with your follow up!

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  9. Yias Yias GirlJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:28 PM

    Oh that sucks, I'm so sorry.

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  10. CabaJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:29 PM

    I'm so sorry. Sending hugs.

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  11. Lori Lavender LuzJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:35 PM

    I'm holding you in my thoughts.

    Clarity. I'm sending some your way.

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  12. Kathy VJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:53 PM

    JJ, I am so sorry about what happened. I just don't have any other words. Hugs to you and Mook.

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  13. CarrieJanuary 24, 2008 at 12:54 PM

    I'm so sorry. It can never be easier. I wish it could.
    Thinking of you both x

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  14. Somewhat OrdinaryJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:21 PM

    I'm so sorry! I was really hoping I wasn't really reading what I was reading. You and Mook are in my thoughts and if you need to talk, please don't hesitate to call me.

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  15. UnknownJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:22 PM

    I'm so sorry, JJ and Mook. (((hugs)))

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  16. AwkwardMomentsJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:24 PM

    This just really sucks jj! I am so sorry - I am sending you and Mook hugs from afar

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  17. beagleJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:27 PM

    Thinking of you . . .

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  18. JendeisJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:34 PM

    JJ, I'm so sorry for you and Mook. We're all here for you.

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  19. SchatziJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:37 PM

    *sigh* indeed.

    I'm hoping your RE has some good ideas for you.
    Thinking of you both.

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  20. christina(apronstrings)January 24, 2008 at 1:39 PM

    fvck. so fvckin unfair. i am sorry to hear. so sorry to hear.

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  21. ShelbyJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:40 PM

    I'm so, so sorry JJ. I'm thinking of you and sending lots of hugs!

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  22. Lollipop GoldsteinJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:44 PM

    Hey, sweetie. I was checking for a post last night and was sad to see this today. I'm so sorry. I hope you get answers and I definitely am sending peace of heart.

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  23. battynurseJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:59 PM

    I'm so sorry.

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  24. JenJanuary 24, 2008 at 1:59 PM

    I'm so sorry :(

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  25. MelJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:11 PM

    All my sincerest apologies and many positive thoughts and hopes sent your way.

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  26. N7January 24, 2008 at 2:14 PM

    :::sigh::: I haven't been here in a while and was bummed to see your news- I am so sorry. I can just send you prayers and positive wishes- my fingers stay crossed for you

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  27. meganJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:21 PM

    oh no. i'm so sorry, JJ. thinking of you and Mook.

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  28. Belly LaughsJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    Big hugs coming your way.

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  29. LJJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:33 PM

    JJ- I am so sorry :(

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  30. KateJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:35 PM

    I'm so, so sorry. I'll be thinking about you and your husband.

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  31. CaroJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:35 PM

    So sorry JJ.

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  32. KristenJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:37 PM

    I'm so terribly sorry, JJ. I just wish so much for you and Mook to have a good outcome to all of this. I'm thinking of you always and I hope your next appt will give you some answers or provide a clear path for you to follow. All my love to you. XOXO

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  33. E. PhantziJanuary 24, 2008 at 2:40 PM

    So sad for you :-( ((((((((hugs)))))))))

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  34. annaJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:00 PM

    So sorry...sending you tons of hugs and hope for brighter days. I'm thinking of you and Mook- hang in there!

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  35. andrea_jennineJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:02 PM

    Oh, JJ, I'm so sorry.

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  36. AmandaJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    I am so sorry for you both. You are in my thoughts. (((hugs)))

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  37. NatalieJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:16 PM

    Ugh, I'm so sorry my friend. That just blows - no matter how prepared you are, it still blows.

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  38. AshleyJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:23 PM

    JJ, I am so sorry. I know now matter what is said, it won't take the pain away. Your both in my thoughts.

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  39. LeahJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:33 PM

    Oh no. I was hoping you hadn't posted because you guys were basking in the glow. My heart is breaking for you and Mook. I'm so, so, so sorry.

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  40. Waiting AmyJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:48 PM

    I am sorry JJ. I'm wishing you and Mook healing and hope from your next appointment. I'm thinking of you both, often.

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  41. HollyJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    Am so very very sorry. It is just incredibly unfair. I had been sending such positive thoughts your way. Have many more to send in the future btw. Take care of yourselves.

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  42. EsperanzaJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    I'm sorry. :(.

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  43. KirstenJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:54 PM

    I am so sorry to read this post...I honestly wasn't expecting any news yet...how were they able to tell so soon? I would have thought you'd have the normal 2WW?
    But, that's beside the point...the point is that my heart hurts for you both. I was praying for you the other night and said that even though I don't know you personally, I just have this feeling deep inside that you & Mook are meant to be parents and that you will do a great job so I just prayed you would be blessed. It's just got to happen...it is meant to be.
    I hope your RE can provide some insight. I know it's hard to keep on going but we are all here cheering you on :)

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  44. SamanthaJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:57 PM

    I'm so sorry JJ. I've been there too, and know that it doesn't get easier. In fact, it gets harder in some ways. I'm here if you need to talk.

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  45. KamiJanuary 24, 2008 at 3:58 PM

    I am sorry. I wish I could offer you a sure solution. I wish I could make it not hurt.

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  46. BecksJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:01 PM

    I am so sorry JJ. I am thinking of you, sorry I only caught up today and left my earlier comment.

    Please know I am thinking of you, I am here to help you stand till you you can do it alone.

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  47. MakingpeaceJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:21 PM

    I'm soo sorry. You are both in my thoughts...keep holding on to hope and each other.

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  48. CibeleJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:30 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  49. ErinJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    Oh JJ, I'm sorry. I was hoping for you.

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  50. GeorgeJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:53 PM

    ((hugs...lots of them))
    I am sooo sorry the FET didn't work for you, honey! I wish I could hug you thru this darn computer screen. Take time to rest your heart and your mind, and good luck at your doctors appt next week.

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  51. Dr. GrumblesJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:57 PM

    Oh no.

    I am so sorry.

    The only thing worse than a BFN is another BFN.

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  52. SummerJanuary 24, 2008 at 4:59 PM

    I'm sorry.

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  53. KH99January 24, 2008 at 5:08 PM

    I am so, so sorry. That phone call sucks so much. You and Mook are in my thoughts.

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  54. KJanuary 24, 2008 at 5:28 PM

    I'm sorry JJ. I wish I were reading a different post here. So sorry. Thinking of you and Mook

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  55. ChristyJanuary 24, 2008 at 5:29 PM

    Oh JJ, I'm so very sorry for you and Mook. Know that I'm thinking of you and still holding a good thought for you.

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  56. AnnieJanuary 24, 2008 at 5:31 PM

    Oh JJ I am so sorry. There aren't any words to descibe how sorry I am sweetie. I am sending lots of love to you and Mook *hug*

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  57. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2008 at 5:36 PM

    I am so sorry. You both are in my thoughts.

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  58. CibeleJanuary 24, 2008 at 5:37 PM

    Oh no, I am so sorry my friend. My hear is broken for you
    Hugs and hang in there

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  59. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2008 at 5:53 PM

    I am so sorry, JJ.

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  60. RBandRCJanuary 24, 2008 at 6:31 PM

    I'm so, so, so sorry JJ. Sending lots of hugs your way.

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  61. In and Out of LuckJanuary 24, 2008 at 6:44 PM

    I'm so, so sorry.

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  62. SunnyJanuary 24, 2008 at 7:15 PM

    Totally no words. It just all sucks. I hope you opened a good bottle of wine and really ENJOYED like a sad girl knows how to do.

    HUGS!

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  63. BigP's HeatherJanuary 24, 2008 at 7:34 PM

    I'm so sorry, Sweetie. God, I wanted it to work for you. I'm sorry.

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  64. BarbJanuary 24, 2008 at 7:57 PM

    Lots of hugs.

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  65. esJanuary 24, 2008 at 8:49 PM

    JJ, I am so sorry for you and Mook. You are in my thoughts.

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  66. TaraJanuary 24, 2008 at 9:25 PM

    JJ I am so sad for you. My heart hurts for you and Mook.

    And I feel helpless to do or say anything to make it better.

    I'm always here for you.

    (((HUG)))

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  67. stickybun07January 24, 2008 at 9:59 PM

    JJ, I'm so sorry. as always, I'm thinking of you and wishing there was something I could do to ease your pain...

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  68. CourtneyJanuary 24, 2008 at 11:08 PM

    What can I say that hasn't already been said here? Things should have gone differently, and I am sincerely hoping that next time they absolutely do. You and Mook are in my thoughts.

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  69. CLHKJanuary 25, 2008 at 12:11 AM

    I am so sorry JJ, for both of you.

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  70. TopcatJanuary 25, 2008 at 12:15 AM

    Oh JJ. I'm really sorry. Sh*t.

    I am thinking of you xoxoxoxo

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  71. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2008 at 12:19 AM

    My heart aches for you! So sorry for your loss.

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  72. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2008 at 12:35 AM

    JJ, I am just so incredibly sorry.

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  73. Princesses in Muddy PuddlesJanuary 25, 2008 at 1:44 AM

    I'm so very sorry to hear the end result xo

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  74. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2008 at 3:13 AM

    :( So effing unfair! HUGS and more HUGS

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  75. HeleneJanuary 25, 2008 at 6:21 AM

    So sorry to learn the sad news.
    You both are in my prayers.

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  76. TamJanuary 25, 2008 at 8:10 AM

    OMG JJ, I am so so sorry sweetie, I wish that I was there to give you a big hug. We all know it doesn't get easier, many of us know that feeling oh so well..you can never prepare yourself no matter how prepared you think you are.

    My thoughts are with you and mook, I truly hope that you find some answers soon. All my love xxx

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  77. amandaJanuary 25, 2008 at 8:49 AM

    Oh, no. I'm so very sorry. You're in my thoughts.

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  78. Pamela T.January 25, 2008 at 10:20 AM

    Oh, not that outcome...I'm heartbroken for you and Mook.

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  79. KatieJanuary 25, 2008 at 10:44 AM

    What a rotten, rotten thing. I am so sorry.

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  80. astralJanuary 25, 2008 at 11:11 AM

    I'm sorry. I will keep you and Mook in my thoughts. I'm sending you lots of {{hugs}}

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  81. saraJanuary 25, 2008 at 1:01 PM

    I'm so sorry!

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  82. nancyJanuary 25, 2008 at 1:38 PM

    I'm so sorry. You have had quite a year on the ttc train. From initial diagnosis to first treatments to second chances. But your past does not dictate your future and I will continue to think very positive thoughts for you. ~hugs~

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  83. TeamWinksJanuary 25, 2008 at 1:39 PM

    I'm so very sory JJ.

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  84. hope548January 25, 2008 at 3:22 PM

    I'm really sorry!
    Take care!

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  85. Cajun CutieJanuary 25, 2008 at 3:37 PM

    hugs and a ton of love being sent your way. I am still holding out hope that you guys will be parents. Much Love,
    Anla

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  86. LauraJanuary 25, 2008 at 3:55 PM

    I am so very sorry! Thinking positive thoughts for both of you!

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  87. DebbieDoJanuary 25, 2008 at 5:15 PM

    ((BIG HUGS))

    I'm so sorry (sniff sniff)

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  88. JannaJanuary 25, 2008 at 10:02 PM

    I'm so sorry. It just sucks!!! Thinking of you and Mook!!! (((HUGS)))

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  89. BeaJanuary 27, 2008 at 12:45 AM

    I'm so sorry it didn't work out again. You're right to take a moment to regroup and discuss options. I only wish you didn't have to.

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  90. IvonneJanuary 27, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    I'm so sorry, I was really hoping for you. ((hugs))

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  91. The Beauty JunkieJanuary 27, 2008 at 1:46 PM

    So sorry, truly.

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  92. CJanuary 27, 2008 at 4:50 PM

    Oh, JJ, I am so sorry for this moment. Sending nothing but prayers and good thoughts your way.

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  93. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2008 at 11:13 PM

    I'm so sorry hun...

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  94. Josée MartensJanuary 28, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    I just came to your blog from Creme de la Creme, only to find your sad news of late. I had my BFN in october and my beta for this IVF round is tomorrow. I wish you the best and hope you feel stronger again soon.

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  95. lizard queenJanuary 28, 2008 at 4:53 PM

    JJ, I am so sorry. I hate that this has to be so hard.

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