While I am concerned about the financial situation, my specific panic has been...well, just stuff.
Who knows where it comes from, or why some days are better than others. But as we approach our Level II ultra sound on Thursday, I have found myself clicking away with my mouse searching for articles that relate to all of the following: complete placenta previa (which I currently still have), heart murmurs, and increased vaginal discharge.- In regards to the placenta previa search: this is a "justified" search in my mind, since I have it. Some of the stories/medical facts are absolutely terrifying. And I cant seem to stop reading once I start. It really wraps around my mind, and it's a bit paralyzing. Seeing more in regards to risks/concerns other than resolving and no concerns has me reeling...
- I don't know why I keep typing in heart murmur into the search bar. It just scares me, and so therefore I seek out the information to help me understand it more.
- Increased vag discharge: this I do have. I actually called the nurse today to hear it come out of her mouth that it is normal--I just hate feeling what I call a small gush, since I've been down the road of spotting/bleeding, and I freeze every time I feel it.
I must come across as a bit neurotic and definitely a worry wort. I think going through the experience of bed rest and the hemorrhage so early on has made me so cautious and it all comes back to what I can and can't control. And this whole experience is out of my control.
Mook and I are definitely so excited about Thursday, but also nervous. It's so cliche, but all I want is a healthy child--boy or girl. Have you entered your guess yet?
Bottom line, I just need to stay away from Dr. Google and give my mouse a rest, right? I need to trust that my OB continues to give me the information I need and let it go.
Thanks for listening and understanding my need to click...or should I say need to be click-less.
I know this isn't going to alleviate your fears, but just for what it's worth, a classmate in high school had a pretty substantial heart murmur and has lived a pretty normal life - even playing sports in high school.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for your big u/s!! :)
yes, just slowly back away from dr. google. There is so much (mis)information out there. The neurotic wanting/needing to google "stuff" doesn't end when baby is here
ReplyDeleteI am a research-aholic. And like you, its mainly things that scare or worry me. And then the more I read and research, the more terrified I get. Its a vicious cycle.
ReplyDeleteI cant wait to hear about the next Dr.'s visit.
Matthew 6:34
ReplyDeleteTherefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
As your annoying Christian friend I am praying for you and hoping you can find more peace in this pregnancy. Turn to prayer and God's word in these times, it works-I promise. I don't google anything anymore, because it just breeds fear and panic and it's not worth the anxiety. It's always worst case scenario that pops up, ALWAYS. I remind myself that the life of this baby has already been long determined and there is NOTHING I can do to change it now. Just think how far Ron has come and the insane amount of adversity he has overcome to be where he is today! Honey, your baby has got that "certain something!"
*hugs*
Dr. Google has lead me to more panic-attack trips to the ER than I care to admit! Even though it's justified to want to get more information, you must force yourself to take everything with a grain of salt. If you can't force yourself to do that, then I'm afraid I must recommend that you STOP with the Dr. Google, posthaste!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd, just to provide a bit of comfort, one of my oldest friends had complete placenta previa and was able to carry her baby to term with no complications whatsoever. Of course, she had a C-Section (not sure how you feel about that), but the point is that both she and baby were 100% totally completely fine in spite of the complete previa.
And I know that you and Ron will be fine, too.
When I was pregnant with Bliss I had amazing midwives. They called the increased vaginal discharge "juicy mama syndrome." I am sure many would not like the term but I always loved it. A totally normal part of pregnancy for sure.
ReplyDeleteI can't enter a guess because I never liked when everyone always told me what I was having but I am so excited for you for Thursday and excited because you both are excited to find out so much.
Much love hun.
Step away from the mouse!!! The tinterweb is full of misinformation and more information than you can ever comprehend.
ReplyDeleteI too have friends who had PP and their baby was born perfectly and is gorgeous so try not to worry!
I am so excited for you about Thursday!!!!
It is all out of your control. You have given Ron a good start so far, so you have done what you can. The rest is up to someone else out there.
ReplyDeleteI hope Thursday's ultrasound is amazing!
Google was definitely NOT my friend when pregnant. I blame it for a few of the extra panicked trips to the OB I had. No more googling, young lady!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear your results!
ahh dr. google. He gave me quite a scare yesterday. I don't anything about those specific issues but, I am looking foward to hearing about your Level II.
ReplyDeletePut down the mouse, JJ. As one worry-wort to another, I promise you that no amount of worrying with do anything but drive you insane.
ReplyDeleteI'm having another big US on Thursday! We can be US buddies.
Dr google can cause the saniest person to go crazy. I too was so nervous about my ultrasound, sometimes I think we know too much and that is not a good thing!
ReplyDeleteGood luck at your ultrasound!
oh...and the discharge just gets worse...and it pretty much always sent me to the bathroom to check on things ;) the tp tango never ends
Have you asked them to check you for bacterial vaginosis.
ReplyDeletegive the mouse a break and take a nap pregnant lady!
Dr. Google is evil...and oh so enticing... :)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear your results on Thursday!!!
Oh Dr. Google is such a butthead.
ReplyDeleteI hope Thursday gets here without any more consultations with him.
Hang in there JJ! Thursday is just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI have had a heart murmur all my life, and was a national level swimmer, and completed an Ironman triathlon 4 years ago. Stop worrying about that.
ReplyDeleteAnd the discharge too! I also had 'increased juicyness' at about 12-16 weeks - and same as you - freaked me out. All was fine and normal.
Can't wait to hear about the u/s!
Good luck with your ultrasound! I know you're worried, I'm sorry...
ReplyDeleteWow Thursday. That is so close. How exciting, I hope everything looks great and that maybe the previa is starting to move some. Yes, back away from Dr. Google. It's difficult but no point in making yourself worry more. I do tend to do the same thing though. I hit the internet, pull out my textbooks from nursing school etc. I've found though that ignorance is often truly bliss.
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that when I read the title of this post, I thought it was some sick version of the game "Hide the Salami"? Can you tell we aren't seeing a lot of action in my house? How embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteI am the last person on Earth to tell you how to avoid drowning in your own fears. I was a complete and total nervous wreck the entire time. At 37 weeks, I was still saying, "IF this works out..." I too had spotting (with 3 of my 4 pregnancies and 2 of those were doomed) so I get it.
I was so freakin' neurotic that I used to carry my own toilet paper. You see, most places use that recycled junk and it's got colored fibers in it -- the teeniest hint of red would send me into hysterics.
So, um, yeah. I'm clearly not the right person to explain how to be calm. Just know I'm praying for you, Mook and Ron (or Roni as I have guessed) each and every day! xoxo
Wow, what a stupid comment to make about 2 of my pregnancies being doomed. That didn't come out right at all. I should have explained that they were both in trouble already at the 6 week mark and were out of the game by 8 weeks. So they are NOTHING like your pregnancy and I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort. Sorry!!!! (I'm a total chucklehead)
ReplyDeleteYeah....I was a basketcase pretty much the whole time with Ethan....and I barely had a blip on the radar compared to what you have had already!!
ReplyDeleteI am hoping your u/s isn't alarming in the slightest and is nothing but good news. :)
Thinking about you and your ultrasound! I'm praying for nothing but good news! And yes I've voted...I declare it's a Roni! : )
ReplyDeleteYour #3 problem? Mine too. And instead of your #1 problem, I google all of the "velamentous cord insertion" links. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI wish I didn't know so much at times.
So I am in nursing school and we just finished a full cardiac assessment chapter and VERY SPECIFICALLY it said that heart murmurs are commonly heard in pregnant women. Something to do with all that extra blood you're pumping right now! Normal, normal, normal.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad things are going well for you! <3
murmurs are normal in most young women due to hormone fluctuations. and the discharge is also hormones. . .ahhh great to be a woman! as a certified quack i prescribe that you take a vacay from the computer now and then. it is a healthy break and lifts the spirits. by the way, i vote for roni! i had a dream about her! love from the west.
ReplyDeleteHey JJ,
ReplyDeleteI have a heart murmur and in my naive days when I believed I would fall pg easily I had it checked out by a cardiologist just in case - he said it was fine and most women with mumurs get through delivery just fine as long as it is monitored :)
And I get the whole needing to be click-less - Dr Google can be a b*tch sometimes...
HUGS!
I had a low-lying placenta (it was very close to the cervix but not covering it). It was discovered in my first trimester and stubbornly stayed there until about half way in to my third trimester. They kept telling me it would probably move but I never believed them. Hopefully yours will shift too!
ReplyDeleteI can understand the urge to google all things worrisome. Fertilized is right. It will only get worse once the bundle is here!
ReplyDeleteClickless definitely sounds like the way to go for you. Tomorrow will come more quickly that way! I can imagine your level of freak-out that things will be okay, because I have a pretty high level of that myself and my pregnancy has been pretty uneventful.
ReplyDeleteI know in my clicking about placentas I also have heard that most tend to move up in the third trimester, so there's still time for you yet!
Put the mouse down!! :) Hide your mouse pad if you have too! Make Mook take your computer apart..
ReplyDeleteAs a poster already said your googling only drives you crazy. Plus, you already recognize that there is so little you can control right now-- but you can control what you use your computer for. I know that it's hard, and scary, and terrifying... but you can do this!
Right now there is no safer place for your baby then right where s/he is- so just take care of yourself and try to let the rest be... Hugs
Ignorance is bliss - definitely stop consulting with Dr. Google! It will do you no good. Good luck with your ultrasound. I can't wait to hear the results!
ReplyDeleteI try not to worry about he previa too. Or the fact one day I feel more movement than the other. I try to remind myself I'm only 21 weeks, blah blah.
ReplyDeleteIt works, ocassionally.
Wishing you a great ultrasound tomorrow!
Thanks so much for stopping by! I google so much that the nurse at the RE office last week had to tell me to "please step away from the computer."
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for news from your big u/s!
It's hard not to worry. I did it a lot. Good luck and I can;t wait to see the results!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to stay away from all the information out there on the net. I tried my best this last pregnancy to keep myself from googling every little symptom, b/c I am, like you, a worry wart. I know little to nothing about placenta previa and heart murmers, but I can speak of vaginal discharge, and I can tell you that it is completely normal, and more of us have it than you realize...we just don't talk about it, lol.
ReplyDeleteI voted girl!!
ReplyDeleteDearest JJ ..... I will be thinking of you on Thursday!!
And, TMI alert .... I'm with you on the whole pregnancy vaginal discharge situation. Seriously ... I could go into detail here that would make you gag in your cheerios ... suffice to say, I had to ask my GP about it. He said it was normal ... I still thought it wasn't. Went through a few pairs of undies a day. AHEM.
xoxoxoxox
Can't wait for tomorrow's big ultrasound! I was a worry wort my entire pregnancy as well. I think it's heightened because it took us so much effort to get to that point! I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and waiting anxiously for the news!
ReplyDeleteSorry you've caught the clicking bug - I hope you recover soon! I know it's easy for us all to say, JJ stop clicking! But I also understand that to do so is not so easy at all. I hope you get a little peace of mind soon. I won't chime in about the previa - because I know you've heard most move (even if it's not until later and if it doesn't that's okay too) - and the rest.....well...that'll be okay too :-) Hang in there - and when you feel the need to click, well ask Mook for a backrub. Even if you still end up clicking - it's a darn good way to score some more backrubs, LOL!
ReplyDeletei completely relate to this post - as soon as i found out i was pregnant, i became an expert on google as i navigated the 'what ifs' of pregnancy. didn't help much that i started having contractions at the end of my first trimester!!! (incidentally, baby was born a day late...)
ReplyDeletei hope you'll be able to get some peace of mind at your next scan, and enjoy your pregnancy more.
Pregnancies with placenta previa are 20% more likely to be boys than girls (something like 54% male, 46% female). So, I guess boy and just say the odds are in my favor.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing boy b/c his name has been Ron for so long now. I also second EXACTLY what Mel said.
ReplyDeleteWell put!
Put the mouse down!!
ReplyDeleteI had placenta previa w/ M found on my 19 week u/s, which resolved by 34 weeks. We had a normal vag delivery, so try not to stress about it too much.
ReplyDelete