Thursday, September 16, 2010

Bra Tossing

There I was.

Standing in the middle of my room. Holding the monitor in one hand, a tissue in the other.

It was midnight on Monday...I had just laid Oman back down--he had woken up screaming--a continuation of the past few weeks of restless sleep due to monster-teeth and a virus.

I glanced over at my empty bed...Mook had left that morning for another work trip.

I felt completely alone in that moment. That moment turned into me standing still in that exact same spot for 20 minutes.

My thoughts went allllll over the place. I'll give you a sample:

I am worried Oman will stop breathing. 
What if the house temperature is too cold.
Where did I put my socks?
Why did Mook leave his water bottle on the dresser?
Is Oman going to be sick all the time now that he's in preschool?
When does Modern Family come back on? Is my DVR set to tape it?
How the hell did someone come up with Yo Gabba Gabba?
I wish the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song didnt get stuck in my head.
It is now stuck in my head.
My marriage is taking a beating from Mook's job.
What if we had to go through treatment this year with all his travel....we
would never have been able to cycle.
Did I remember to put the flag up on the mail box?
I need to paint my toenails.
What if I need to go back to work and we have to pull Oman out of preschool?
I need to get things organized for the garage sale
Why is it called a garage sale?
I miss waking up next to my husband
But I dont miss his snoring
I don't take enough pictures
Is Oman still breathing?

(It's always interesting to look back and see how in the world your mind got from one thought to the next!)

I obviously had gotten so overwhelmed with thoughts, that I just sort of went into a trance. I  put the monitor down, wiped away my tears, turned on the light and went over to my dresser.

One of my coping mechanisms when things are spiraling out of control, is to do something completely random and not associated with any of the tornado-of-thoughts that I am dealing with.

So I decided to weed through my underwear drawer. 

(not my skivvies!)

I found nursing bras, undies that were way to small, bras that were meant for support, bras that were meant for the days that they match your undies (if you know what I mean--wink-wink), Granny-Panties, a random tank top that I thought I'd lost, my favorite-wear-any-day-of-the-week bra, a bra that was my faaaaavoooorite-but the one of the clasps broke 4 months ago--yet I still have it in my drawer, the bra that pushes me up in all the right places, the undies that I wear when I need to do laundry, my new sports bra, and the list goes on...

I started tossing everything onto the floor. First I tossed lightly. Then I started tossing them...some landed on the bed...a few got stuck on the fan on my poor dog's head. It felt good to just throw things. And by the last toss, I was laughing. Seeing bras and undies strewn about the room...well, let's just say I'm glad no one else walked in at that moment. 

Then it was time to clean up.

And as I began to organize my personal effects, my thoughts magically started to sort themselves too. Well, to be fair, I didn't come to conclusions about anything specific, or worry any less about Oman's breathing--but I now had a clean and organized drawer, and my mind was settled enough that I could lay back down and get some sleep. 

So the next time you're overwhelmed? Toss some skivvies across the room! But really--what do you do that's "out-there" when you need to clear your mind?


  1. I get into these trance more often than I want to admit. I will try the bra tossing next time. Glad it helped!

  2. I like that solution. It sounds a lot more effective than stewing about whatever is bothering me.

  3. JJ your posts always give me pause for thought and make me smile

  4. I usually organize when i feel like I have no control. Usually filing. your way sounds much more fun though :)

    I hope Oman is feeling better soon.

    Does your DH have to travel this much for work forever?

  5. I just did this this morning, and oh boy did it ever feel good. I love purging and organizing. It felt so good in fact that I did Steve's drawers too... hope he doesn't miss anything!

  6. I absolutely DO this, I will take my closet or my shoe bucket or my bra drawer and just sit there and put the TV on and just DO THAT..instead of my mind racing along on it's on.

    I am so sorry that you were having that kind of day...and had to resort to the "DISTRACTION" but I'm glad it worked and I do hope that the merry go round of your life slows down soon.

    Is Oman breathing???? YES, of course he is. *HUGS!

  7. Hmm...must remember to try this next time.

    I usually end up cleaning out of anger. Of course, things get done quickly b/c I'm so frustrated, but at least they get done:-)

    Oh yeah, and I get on twitter to vent:-)

    Hope things work out for the best soon for you (and your skivvies). xoxo

    P.S. Um, honest moment here: I worry about B a lot...his breathing, him falling, his future, yeah, all of it.

  8. OMG, I totally need to do that. I have undies buried in my drawer that I hoped I would one day fit in again. Buah ha ha... must let that idea go.
    As for the random thoughts, I do that at night before bed and then I force myself to count, "one, one-thousand, two, two-thousand...." It usually works to quiet the thoughts.

  9. Solitaire has always worked for me, or sometimes yahtzee, either on the computer. I used to play with cards but when stressed I can play for eons or just a few minutes and it seems to settle me a bit.

    As for the breathing worry, it never ends. But it has always made me feel better knowing others so it all the time too.

  10. I run. Or cry. Or shower. Usually I shower and just let the hot water beat on me for a few minutes.
    I did toss some clothes around one day when I was mad and I felt better when I was done :)

  11. I love the idea of throwing something totally harmless like undergarments :)

    I usually feel better after a run. In fact, I'm thinking of getting up early tomorrow to hit the pavement before A gets up.

  12. I love how you get exactly how my mind works! :-) Yeah, my mind is usually going that many things at once. Usually, to de-stress--going on-line, organizing things like you did, or, unfortunately, eating something decadent...

  13. Hmmm I'll have to try that one. I usually clean or organize when I'm upset, but never when my thoughts are scattered. if I'm having a thought scattered moment, I try to go for a run, if I can't do that, I get twitchy. I'll have to remember tossing panties around the room helps. Glad it helped soothe your mind.

  14. I usually crank up the music and jam to something that might get me out of a funk. Except that wouldn't have worked had it been at the time you're describing.. Yay for an organized and cleaned out undies drawer. And hugs on the thoughts.. if anyone goes on tangent thoughts and then doesn't even remember how I got there, it's me, so I get it. xo

  15. You know, the bras and underwear are another remnant of "feeding the infertility" for me. I haven't gone through them - there are nursing bras and bras from when my boobs were huge. Worn out bras, etc. I keep telling myself when we're really done, I'm going to splurge and buy myself a new underwear wardrobe.

  16. Sounds like my train of thoughts: I just try and make some kind of order either in my head or around the house.

  17. Sounds like a productive way to clear your head! When I get overwhelmed, I sometimes do things like that, too (usually trying to tackle the impossible, like the junk drawers in the kitchen or the basement landing shelves...). Though, to be honest, I usually just cry and/or stew about things, retreat into my head, etc. I like your way better. I'll tell H not to be surprised if he comes home and finds undies scattered across the bedroom!

  18. When I can actually motivate myself to get out of my own head, I will often times just start reorganizing. Like you, it help clear my mind. Another thing I like to do is to cook -- I get engrossed in the details of the recipe. The chopping, the dicing, the slicing. It's cathartic. Especially if I get to pound on something -- chicken cutlets for everyone!

  19. I'll try this next time I'm having one of those days! Sounds fun! xxx

  20. I totally think that I need to clean my underwear drawer now. "Life is like a box of chocolates," hmmm...

    "Life is like an overstuffed underwear drawer..."

    Yeah. That's better.

    Sorry that the OMan is sick, sorry that Mook is away. I'm thinking good thoughts and sending them your way kiddo. Big hugs.

  21. I don't know how out there it is but my therapist has suggested having a tablet by my bed and whenever I have things that are bouncing around my head and preventing sleep I can get up, write them down (so I don't forget them?) and the tell myself to leave it for morning. The times I've used it really helped.


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