Thursday, May 5, 2011

Memory Trigger

I'm currently sitting in a Gastroenterology office while Mook goes through his endoscopy.

1st: It amazes me what other people in a waiting room will share with you. Whether its because of nerves, they're bored during the wait--some of it is just plain TMI.

2nd: I'm having a weird emotional reaction to being here. Mook had this same procedure done on July 1, 2008.

That was the day I received my 2nd beta that confirmed I was indeed pregnant with O-man (then known as Ron!)

So I don't look much different than I did that day 3 years ago since I was only 4 weeks along-but man-my mental state sure is different. I remember being on cloud 9 that day, and today the wave of heartache that is currently washing over me is so palpable. I want that feeling of being on cloud 9 again...

So strange what memory triggers can bring up more intense reactions/feelings than others. Even seeing a box of Omans tiny baby clothes this morning didn't act as a trigger.

The one thing that does make me keep giggling is wondering what obscene things will be coming out of Mook's mouth in about an hour...his recovery last time brought out quite a loopy side of him and he was *quite* fond of using the F bomb.

I better go...more waiting room stories are being shared. I don't wanna miss these...


  1. I hate how those triggers sneak on up me.

    Hoping waiting room stories and Mook's post endoscopy blabbering is amusing enough to get you through.

  2. I am hoping the waiting room stories have help distract those thoughts for the rest of the day

  3. I'm a recovery curser too!
    Hope that all is well with Mook and the wave of sadness moves on.

  4. Damn those sneaky emotional triggers.

    Can't wait to hear funny Mook stories. Please, please share them with us.

  5. When someone starts sharing something you don't really want to hear, pull out your phone and take a photo of them. Then tell them you are posting their picture and story on their blog. They will shut up, promise.

  6. LOL! I hope you have some good MOOK stories after the anesthesia! After his first scope to place the stent, Travis was waiting on transport to his room and it was taking FORever and he kept cursing. It was FUNNY. Especially since they had him right next to the nurses' station!

  7. Heh, Mook dropping the F-bomb in recovery makes me laugh sorta hard.

    I so remember when O-man was Ron! Love.

    Sorry for that hole in your heart sweetie. I have it right now too.


  8. Who would think that you'd have to return to the endoscopy waiting room, anyway? That's one emotional trigger that you would never have figured on. Sorry that you have to be there, regardless.

    Hope Mook provides you with some good stories that you can share next time you're stuck in a waiting room...

  9. I love a good waiting room story. YOu should hear the stories patients tell their nurses in ERs! It like a last confessional, even if they aren't dying. It is quite amusing.

    Sneaky little triggers huh? **HUGS**

    Did He get his milkshake? Did you pull out yours and bring all the boys to the yard?? :P

  10. Hope you got some good laughs from Mook's recovery.

  11. I hate those triggers. I went furniture shopping last weekend. I soon asb I entered the store I had a major flashback that made me dizzy... me 8 months pregnant going to buy a new living room set with "wasbund"... I was in could 9, soon to be a mother, finally in a good financial place, in love and feeling loved . Here I was 3 and 1/2 years later, a new life, a new woman so aware of the heartaches of life, but also very aware of the healing power of time!

  12. ((hugs)) for you!!

    My fave thing that my hubby said to the nurse (while in recovery room) was this {spoken very sincerely}, "Ma'am, do you know what sucks worse than this??", Nurse: "I'm not sure sure..." Hubby: "NOTHING"!!

  13. Oh Ron, we love you so. :)

    I do that, that nervous talking thing. Usually I embarass myself! But oh well...

    I went to have an endoscopy once and they gave me the sedative, and apparently I fought them! They did NOT do the endoscopy and when I woke up fully, they told me that I'd have to go under general anesthesia to have an endoscopy. Funny how I'd had three IVF's and tons of needles, etc. but I was afraid of a little tube going down my throat. TMI? :)


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