Did you all know that Opr.ah was a preacher?
I just finished watching Jenna on the O show (thanks to the DVD Tour!) and she sure wanted to (and did) preach to Jenna and her husband during the after show...
I am posting this only minutes after watching--and I have to say I feel motivated to educate. This show, as well as the segment on the To.day Show, reaffirms my belief that there is still such a lack of knowledge about the feelings and experiences we all go through. I will continue to give more thought to how I can play a role in this...(any suggestions welcome!)
So back to the preaching: O did a lot of it. Especially in the after show--she spent a good 5-10 minutes harping on the notion of "letting go, and letting Go.d" I do believe in this statement--I have Christian beliefs, but I don't agree with how it is used to be a shield-statement when someone may not fully understand how to respond to a situation. Infertility is one of those "situations." It is a taboo subject to talk about-a hard topic to admit dealing with. I felt that O was using this method of telling Jenna to "let go" and not really listening to the pain and void it causes her. She told Jenna she needed to relax-that dreaded word. She tried to tip-toe around that word too, saying she wasnt using it in the way we all know and love, but to tell her to accept that Go.d may have another plan for Jenna, and that until she fully lets go of the dream of being a mother, she will not realize her full potential. I wanted to scream...
Yes, I admit--I get wrapped up in this journey--we ALL do. But it's not fair to tell me to let go of that journey just to "see what else MAY happen in my life" I have a hard time with control issues and living in the now--I realize that I need to appreciate the life I am blessed to live each day. I do my best not to take that for granted. But I CANT dismiss the feelings of wanting to ADD to my life. But I don't know if and when that will happen...
O says over and over that Jenna needs to "be at peace" and to be at peace for many of us, that will be the day we have a child in our home. It should be enough for anyone, even the mighty O, to understand that peace can have many definitions.
For me, it was hard to watch the To.day show segment--I saw it when it aired-and it broke my heart to see that Jenna was still left wondering when and if she will have children. The other 2 women did have children after adoption and one had a child the month before going forward with IVF. I wanted so bad for Jenna to be able to share that she had crossed over the IF threshold...
Since we are dealing with male factor, my hope is that someday soon a man (celebrity or not) will feel comfortable enough to express their feelings and challenges they face of being part of the statistics. I've been blessed with a husband who communicates with me, and have read some great male perspective blogs, so I know that these men (mine included) deserve all the support we can give them.
Thanks again to Jenna for being so open about her journey-and continuing to be a great resource to us all! I'll send the DVD back on its journey when I get the next recipient!
To read Heather's thoughts on the segments, go here: BigP and Me
And for more info about the DVD go here: Jenna
Nice review JJ. I can't wait until I get this DVD!
ReplyDeleteGreat review. O is so preachy, but I can't imagine watching her do so with something that hits so close to home. I'll have to check it out!
ReplyDeleteGood post, JJ. It's true that we can all get wrapped up in our dream of having children, but that doesn't mean we have to let go of the dream! Why is it that women who dream of getting further education or promotions at work are told to pursue their dreams full throttle, but women who want to have children are told to just relax?!!
ReplyDeleteI was so annoyed with Oprah during the show, I can't even think about how frustrated I'll get by the aftershow!
ReplyDeletethanks for the review!
Gawd, I dont know if I could watch this without getting very very angry - preaching that we're supposed to be at peace and it'll happen is like saying we're not at peace so it's our fault. I can't believe Oprah of all people!
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad someone else was as mad as I was!
I have seen bits of the show and I can't help but wonder if O would feel the same way if a lil girl's dream was to be a super-model. But this poor lil girl had some sort of condition that didn't make her asthetically attractive.... would O tell her to let it go?!?! and see what god has in story for her? People in powerful positions, such as O and the T.oday Show, should have an obligation for information and not be so biasis and un-compassionate!!! Great Job on the review!! (sorry i got on my soapbox)
ReplyDeleteWell done J! Thanks for posting. I'm just about to post your link on my blog so others can read what you have shared.
ReplyDeleteI really hope you contine to consider what you can do to help the 'cause'. There are so many options from the simple (sending a card to and IF friend), of the more public (writing letters to other media outlets). This blog postof yours, too is an effort to educate.
Thanks again for passing on the DVD. I'm s glad you were a part of the tour.
~Jenna
http://epilogue.inconceivablejourney.com
Great post JJ! Isn't it just so frustrating how little the general public understands about IF? I really really hope that as other people have mentioned, some of O's friends with IF called her up and educated her after the show aired!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your take on it!
ReplyDeleteI'm not familiar w/ Jenna, but I'm sure it took a lot of guts to go on that show. I am actually quite glad I didn't watch it...I cannot stand Opra.h on a regular day, and I think this one might have sent me over the edge. Sure she's had her rough days, back when she was a kid, but she always seems to think she has some kind of special insight into every situation when she really has no freaking clue. Not to mention the fact that she is so very preachy. I feel like she picks and chooses which areas of Christianity she wants to represent and ignores the others. As a Christian, that is very bothersome. If you read my last post, you could probably tell that I'm sick and tired of how some people just dismiss this as something that was "meant to be".
ReplyDeleteI SOOOO agree with you - when I watched the show about 3 weeks ago (We get the season's show about 6 months after it's first aired in the US here in SA) my first thought after cringing inside because of Oprah's remark was that Jenna handled herself extremely well. She was so calm and collected and her answers were great. There is a little plaque on my pc screen, it's been there for more than 10 years now, and it says: "Don't let wees grow around your dreams." A dream is a dream and NO ONE should ever tell anyone else to let go of theirs.
ReplyDeleteWow, I've heard so much about this show. I usually LOVE Oprah, but I really think she got it wrong on this one. I wonder if she's received any criticism for it? By letters, or emails?
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you on the "motivated to educate" ... I'm a freelance journo, and will no doubt write an article soon. (Maybe in the 2WW HA!) But, I think even just educating our friends, our family, is a really great way to start.
Hope you and Mooks are having a lovely weekend, JJ. xo
I haven't seen the DVD, but I really want to do something to make people more aware of how common and heartbreaking IF is, and educate them about appropriate ways of dealing with friends who are struggling with it.
ReplyDeleteGreat review and I completely agree with you. The more people talk to me about IF, who have absolutely no clue what it is like, the more I realize that they things like "relax" and "find peace" to make themselves feel better.
ReplyDeleteI truly think so many people cannot look beyond themselves in talking to someone dealing with IF. The only solace I've ever found is through the stories and words of other IFers and that to me is sad--especially since I'm the only one in my group of friends and in my family to have to deal with it.
Not only is IF devastating, it is isolating as well. I wish Oprah and others like her would get a clue. There is no bandage to put over the wounds IF leaves behind.
I haven't seen the tape, but you have to wonder if a woman who is worth $1.1 billion dollars is "letting go" to achieve her goals. Her analogy to the acting role that she wanted is particularly lame. Yea, that's just like infertility... idiot.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your review I don't know if I could watch the show. I doubt I could have handled myself as well as Jenna. Good for her!
ReplyDeleteI can't decide if this post makes me want to the see the DVD or not. Seriously, it makes me so angry! It is not our fault that our situations and experiences make other people uncomfortable. It makes me so mad when others discount feelings and make the focus about themselves. That is exactly what O did, she turend it into what SHE needed to feel better not what Jenna needed. Grrr....
ReplyDeleteI think that I will have to write my own post just to vent now cause I am so riled!!!
I don't think I could watch this. I can't stand the 'it's meant to be' way of thinking, or just let go. Does she say this to cancer patients or people waiting for organ transplants?
ReplyDeleteGreat review, JJ!
ReplyDeleteITA with you that O was ignoring Jenna's true feelings about the matter at hand and was trying to use some "fill-ins" as a way to cut off communication. How else was Jenna to respond? That is just so terrible. I feel so badly that she was put in that position. I just want to fight on her behalf, you know?! Make a stand against ignorance!
And all of this coming from (A) someone who has chosen to remain childfree and (B) has worked her ass off for HER dream. She of all people should recognize that while our dreams may be different, they are no more or less important.
An acting role compared to infertility? Come on, lady! How insensitive can you be?
OMG totally with you on that one, that show touched a nerve with me as well. I suppose I should "let this go" as well, but I think I will email Oprah instead and tell her she needs to do a whole show about infertility and to TALK LESS AND LISTEN MORE. I'm an actress and you know what, I've wanted parts really, really badly and guess what, IT'S NOT THE SAME THING!
ReplyDeleteI didn't get to see it, but hope that I'll catch it on a rerun at some point.
ReplyDeleteI just saw on your profile that you're a SNOOD fan--isn't it the best game ever???
I haven't seen this particular show but y'all's descriptions of it have me riled up.
ReplyDeleteComparing an acting role to infertility? As if. Jenna sounds like she handled herself well. I probably would have started crying on national television.
I saw the original airing, but not the commentary. I was annoyed enough then - I can't imagine if she continued along that same vein. It almost seems as though she has more empathy for the other women they profiled.
ReplyDeleteGreat review - and I think it comes down to lack of knowledge and an unwillingness to truly understand.
The O lady is full of herself and out of touch with reality (in my opinion). I guess we really can't expect her to 'get it' when she doesn't take the time to understand the situation - many often don't.
ReplyDeleteI had a hard time watching that too. I kept thinking, f the letting go and letting God...he doesn't hand out babies like happy meals. And if he did, he wouldn't give them to crack addicts.
ReplyDeleteInfertility is a condition, i mean would she say that to cancer patients, i think not.
who the heck is she to preach about this? she chose a child free life and seems to be content her decision, but she is not me! i love your efforts to bring this issue to the attention of the editors.
ReplyDelete