Hi, my name is JJ and I'm in denial.
After being on bed rest and in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks, do I really get to give birth to Ron tomorrow?
These nurses keep coming in and prepping me for what tomorrow will be like: the prep, the c-section process, the recovery, where Ron will go, what Mook's responsibilities will be.
And I swear, the look I feel that is on my face when they are talking is: "Umm, you must have me confused with someone else."
You can either call it a blessing or a curse, or a bit of both--I have had to spend so much mental energy on just making it through each day, that the thought of having an end in sight with such a beautiful gift just blows my mind. Not to mention the fact that I am going to be a mom. I know that this last leg of pregnancy for a lot of women gives them time to think/prepare for what happens, ya know, after the baby is born--but I feel a bit green in that department. I'm gonna be flying by the (hopefully no longer SORE) seat of my pants. But I've waited a LONG time for this--so I WILL figure it out, and do the best damn job I can.
So I never got to write too much on my feelings about having a c-section. I'm OK with it--it's obviously medically necessary for me to have one. Im not doing this for convenience--as I learned so many people just assume. I just stopped telling people I was having a c-section--the comments got to be too much. I did fire back most of the time: I just want him here safe, and I'll do whatever I need to do to make that happen. Yes, I know my body is built to handle and go into labor. Yes, it probably is a beautiful experience. Yes, blah blah blah. But this is not something I have a say in. It is what it is, and the point is to bring Ron into this world.
And now some closing thoughts before I end up somewhere over the rainbow:
-First, I would write a novel but : a) Im too emotional b) Hunting for keys while almost flat on my back is difficult and c) Mook! He has quite the audience--Im sure he'll be sharing thoughts again soon--he loves hearing from each of you.
-Im quite sure I could win major prizes on The Price is Right-Ive seen every game they have in the past 2 1/2 weeks, and I would love to spin the wheeeeeel!
-Anyone else been watching The Bachelor? Can you believe he got rid of Stephanie and her 10 pounds of makeup? I have no clue who he'll end up with--but he kind of annoys me.
-I will be forever thankful for the nurses Ive had--has anyone ever done anything for their nursing staff? There are a select few that I want to come back and visit and express my appreciation.
-Did you all know that anyone with previa has a higher chance of having to have a hysterectomy? Yea, I didnt know that until yesterday's visit from my OB. I know he's just making me aware of everything, but that scares the poop outta me.
-ONLY thing I would change about this whole experience: not having to check my TP in fear EVERY time I went to the bathroom. Im positive I saw a grey hair yesterday. I would go through this all over again-I know it will be worth it.
-And we cant say it enough: the fact that we have this community to support us makes a HUGE difference-both Mook and I are so grateful, and Ron will know all about each of you one day
-Mook will most likely update twitter first tomorrow, since that will be the fastest access.
-I unfortunately need to go back to laying down, so know Ill be holding onto each of your thoughts tomorrow, 24 hours from now!
-Ron has come such a long way...no words to describe how I feel to be at this point