Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Below the streets of NYC


I can't tell you how happy I am that I took this picture with my phone, and not the camera that was stolen. 

Because this picture? The most important one I took the whole trip.

It's not of famous people sitting across from us on the subway.

It's not of a famous landmark.

It's just three random kids. They are from France, I'm pretty sure--since the game they were playing and the conversations they were having were spoken in the beautiful French language. 

You had the pretty 16ish-age-girl who was keeping her active 9ish-age-brother entertained with sing-song games, while she was trying to convince the aloof "Im too cool for this" 14ish-age-brother to join in.

But I didn't snap this picture because of their beautiful language, or the fact that they were playing fun games, or to create a "We're on the Subway in NYC!" picture.

I took the picture because they are siblings. 

Not only were Mook and I on the same track on the subway, but on the same mental track as well (ha! couldn't help the pun!

That subway ride from Grand Central Station to Battery Park was our first real serious discussion about our next steps. Seeing those kids interact, and know that we do want to give the O-man a sibling.

Our hearts are on the path to adoption. We plan on beginning the journey as early as the end of this year--and I already feel prepared since I have fantastic resource of women to turn to for advice and assistance. The first step for us will be a seminar or two...and of course a lot of bugging friends with questions!

We may not even be able to do much after attending the seminars--because unfortunately, finances will be the biggest hurdle for us. But knowing that Mook and I are both on the same page, and we both felt sooo at peace with our decision is enough for now. 

Those siblings will never know who we are, but we will always remember them for opening our hearts on a subway ride.

51 comments:

  1. I'm so excited about this post! Very glad you and mook are on the same wavelength too!

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  2. Can't wait to share the next 'ride' with you Sis. SO pleased for you all xx

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  3. It was a journey to get Oliver and it will be another journey to give him a sibling. Fitting for having the discussion on a train. I am so excited for you guys and we will be there for you in any way we can.

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  4. Such exciting news! So glad you and Mook are on the same page! That's the biggest part of the battle.

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  5. You just made me tear up! So exited for you guys!

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  6. That's so great! I am excited for you and Mook! YAY!!
    *HUGS*

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  7. This is a fantastic post. We grew our family through adoption (we have a bio 6 year old son and 20 month old was adopted) so feel free to ask me any questions you might have about that.

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  8. Oh, JJ. You have such a way of merging the ordinary with the extraordinary. I love that your moment of clarity and togetherness came out of watching random people on a train.

    I will, of course, help in any way I can. I can see this unfolding beautifully for the Jeans family. All 4 (or more) of you.

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  9. P.S. I love that we were cross-commenting!

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  10. Congratulations on coming to a decision. Funny how random images can solidify big decisions in our minds.

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  11. How awesome is that photo to commemorate that special moment!

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  12. A simple moment in life that will change your future. So happy for you and looking forward to cheering you on the next round.

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  13. I can't wait to watch the next part of your journey unfold! :)

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  14. Aw, JJ! So happy for you guys. All the best of luck.

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  15. wow... I can feel the peace coming from your words. I so glad that you are both on the same page. I sometimes wonder if Lyla will ever have a brother or sister, my heart aches because of that and for now I can't make any decision just make peace with the fact that maybe someday, somehow Lyla will be a big sister . I am very happy for you

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  16. that makes me sooo happy for you and with the world. That fate intervened and opened your eyes and hearts to a decision that will make your beautiful family, even bigger...even more beautiful.

    I started tearing up at the end. Soooo happy about this.

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  17. What the perfect snapshot to remember an important moment for you and Mook!

    I'll be here cheering and supporting you as you start on this next journey.

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  18. How exciting... that really is an amazing and awesome decision. The money? It'll work out, it always does. You guys will be in my prayers!

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  19. Oh how exciting and wonderful to be on the same page w/ Mook about something so important! Awesome news!! Here to support in anyway possible!

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  20. Wonderful news! I'm so excited for you for beginning this next journey. I hope that you and Mook will lean on me as a resource too. I'm more than happy to share all of our journey with you, including the stuff of the off-blog variety.

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  21. Beautiful! This is the kind of stuff that motivates me too.

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  22. How exciting!!!!! Can't wait to ride the ride with y'all, and please...ask any question you may have!! I'll be more than happy to help!!

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  23. wonderful news, JJ. anything you want to know, just ask. xo

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  24. It's great that you are on the same page. Good luck with this next adventure.

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  25. I'm so glad that you guys are on the same page and that you're going to get O-man a sibling.

    Sending you loads of love

    xxx

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  26. I'll be glad to pass on the name of the adoption consulting group we used if you would like.

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  27. CONGRATULATIONS!!! I can't wait to hear all about it! :D

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  28. I love it when a plan comes together! How very exciting!

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  29. I love it when a plan comes together! How very exciting!

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  30. What a great post! I'm so excited for you guys and look forward to hearing more about this exciting new journey! ((hugs))

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  31. Wow! Big news!! And such exciting news as well!! I am so happy for you guys, that you're on the same page and that you've begun to make decisions about building the family you want.

    In the event that you are interested at all, one of my classmates went through adoption locally just last year, and she may have some good insight into local agencies, etc.

    So, so, so excited for you guys! This is HUGE!!

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  32. WOOOOOO!!
    I am so so so so excited for you guys. Like a bit weepy with excitement. Windows opening weeping.

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  33. Really exciting news - I'm glad you're on the same page and at peace with your decision.

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  34. I am reminded of the Quaker saying, that sometimes we find the way not because a door opens to us, but because the way closes behind us- and there is only one way through.

    May this way lead your family to a wonderful place.

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  35. What an amazing post. Love the picture and the story behind it. This brought tears to my eyes. Some day you are going to have to write a book about your amazing journey(s) to parenthood.

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  36. So glad you and hubby are on the same page. You can do this! I do know what the financial hurdle is like though. It sad that the infertile person comes across this type of roadblock. :(

    Anyways, I'l be thinking about you over the remainder of the year and crossing my fingers that the ball will get rolling for you!

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  37. Beautiful. I love how simple things can inspire something so huge. I admire your courage and envy that you are this point!

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  38. What an awesome pic with an even better story. So happy for you both & for O man!!!

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  39. I am so very happy for you! And happy you have the pic to remember the moment by. Those thieves didn't steal everything!!

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  40. Just found you through Spokeit's blog. What a great picture (boo that someone stole your camera!!) and wonderful story you shared about your possible expansion project. :)

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  41. Oh, JJ! I absolutely love this post. Love it!!!! I am so very excited for you as you embark on this new journey and will be following you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers every step of the way.

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  42. I know I'm very behind in replying, but wow did I empathize with this post. I've been thinking a lot about siblings lately too and feeling frustrated over what a huge hurdle it seems. We have the embryos (hopefully), but we will need to find another surrogate and the cost...well, we all know that none of these options are cheap. I find myself feeling some resentment towards those who easily add to their families, and I thought I was done with that. I feel better though b/c J and I discussed it and both feel very committed to trying for a sibling. That calms me down. It will likely be a few years before we think about trying but just knowing we want to and will try has relieved some anxiety.

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  43. Here from the Creme - Congrats on entering this wonderful world of adoption parenting! We've been waiting a very long time (over four years) to add to our family through adoption from China. And it's all because of this - we want another child, of course, but most importantly we want our daughter to have a sibling.

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  44. What a great story for coming to this decision. Very cool post.

    (from the creme)

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  45. It's amazing what you can learn (most importantly about yourself) on an NYC subway.

    Congrats on a great post. Hope you're enjoying the ride.

    Now following from Creme de la Creme.

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  46. Great choice of post for the cdlc. A truly defining moment. So glad you have the photo to go with it.

    Bea

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  47. Here from creme. I'm so happy for you! Best of luck moving forward how that you've made the decision.

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  48. I'm from the Creme. Thanks for writing.

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  49. What a wonderful post about an amazing moment. Knowing that you were there, in a certain state of mind, to see something so ordinary as siblings playing on a train and have it mean something very different and special to you, that is a very great gift indeed. I hope that you are able to find your way to O-man's little brother or sister without too much difficulty. And that when things seems hard for whatever reason, you see something else that reminds you of why you're on this long and winding road. Good luck!

    Creme de la Creme #125
    Creme de la Creme 2010 Iron Clad Commenter Attempt
    http://esperanzasays.wordpress.com/iron-clad-creme-de-la-creme-commenter/

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  50. From creme - at this point I was be over the moon with one child - any child. But reading your post made me realise how special it is for children to have their siblings to interact with. That kind of intimacy is so rare. Once I get my one I hope I have a moment like yours to tip me of that its time for a second.

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