Mook often has to put up with me asking: "What if we hadn't decided to just throw out the birth control 3 1/2 years ago?" "What if we had waited longer to try and become parents?"
I'm just glad we decided to throw it out when we did. That's all I can really ever answer to my reminiscent questions.
Now I find myself adding a new question that plays in a constant loop in my brain. (Where is the OFF switch, by the way?!)
How will we afford to add to our family? And the afford part? That's a double whammy.
'Cause not only am I talking about the bank account, but at the cost of my health.
Just in the past two months, I've been given bad skin biopsy results, told the cyst on my head is now in my lymph node, and I seem to have developed severe allergies to things I have never had issues with in the past.
Is my body trying to tell me something?! Could it all be a coincidence. Of course it could--but the fact that I feel more like I'm 80 than just a month shy of 30 just makes me melancholy in all sorts of ways.
I do want to give the O-man a sibling. And would I change anything I went through to get him here? Absofreakinloutley not. But I also want to be here for many more years to come.
The whole experience of getting to where we are, and where we are headed is a challenge, to say the least. But I am thankful...and hopeful. Always hopeful.
To see more of this project go to:
Stirrup Queens, Bloggers Unite
For more information on infertility go to RESOLVE
Please help spread the word and educate others:
National Infertility Awareness Week